


The Black Star [on hold]

by BastilleWolf



Series: Tales Out of Time [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 14:48:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 23,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6859360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BastilleWolf/pseuds/BastilleWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Previous book is being rewritten. When finished, I will update this book as well.<br/>Sequel to 'The Winter of the End'. (Now called 'Last Winter')</p><p>A darkness has taken over. It's taken over you. And it grows continuously. Your friends and loved ones want to help. The problem is, they don't know how.</p><p>| I do not own Marvel, 20th Century Fox or any of their characters. I do however, own this story |</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Your P.O.V.**

You run through the Wakandian jungle. You run, and run, and run until you can no longer breathe. You eventually stumble over a fallen tree, making a landing in the damp grass. Your lungs gasp for air, and your eyes sting from all the tears.

You're growing weak. You let yourself get attached to someone who you could never be with. It always ends leaving you hurt, and broken. You're tired of losing people. Sick and tired of all of the pain. Way too many lifetimes spent on earth does something to you.

Finally catching your breath, you force yourself to stand on your tired legs. Glancing around, your eyes land on something you feel like you're not supposed to see.

A crater, the size of a small pool, in the middle of the jungle is a rare thing to see. Any crater is a rare thing to see, really. In the center, lies something that looks like a meteor. Maybe you should touch it. But that's stupid. Touching it would be stupid. When you touch something you don't know, something usually goes wrong.

But somehow, you feel this draw to the rock. Like it belongs to you. A part inside tells you you shouldn't be here, that this is all one big mistake. But another part tells you that being curious is a good thing, that it's not that big of a deal. You have a healing factor after all.

You touch it.

And immediately feel your body get sucked into an oblivion of darkness.


	2. Back In Time

You know that feeling when you're making a loop in a roller coaster? That's how it feels when you're teleporting. That's how you feel right now. Only ten times worse. It's like you can't stop teleporting. Like something has taken over.

Everything around you is blurry and it makes you sick.

Your world seems to be spinning, over and over again, for such a long time.

 _Time_.

After what feels like an eternity, you stop. You land on the gravel ground with a muffled thud. You groan, squeezing your eyes shut to cut out the dizziness. The sound of gunshots starts ringing in your ears, not helping your massive headache at all. Who the damn hell is making all of that noise? It's not like a war is going happening.

Finally opening your eyes, you find that you're in a forest. Not the Wakandian jungle, no. An actual forest which seems very familiar to you for some reason. It smells like smoke and gunpowder. You're seated in the middle of a road, with fresh tire tracks on it.

This doesn't look like Wakanda at all. The place that pops up in your head can't be it either. That place had long been destroyed. However, when a blue ray shoots over your head, you start to think otherwise. "What the-" You duck when yet another shot misses you by an inch. Turning to look at the shooter, you eyes widen. It can't be. That's impossible.

The HYDRA-soldier aims his weapon at you. Before you can do anything else though, a bullet pierces right through his neck; his weak spot. What the hell is going on?

"Are you alright, my lady?" A familiar voice asks from behind you. You turn around,and find someone you thought you'd never see again in your lifetime. "D-Dugan?" You whisper in shock. The redhead furrows his brows. "Yeah, that's me. Are you alright? Did you get shot? Are you going into shock?" He replies worriedly. "N-No. Uh... I'm fine. I think," you stutter. "Well, then let's go!" He says, pulling you up, "We're in the middle of a mission! Can't be sitting on our asses the entire time, or colonel Phillips would kill us, if the HYDRA-scum hadn't already."

You nod in agreement, even though you still don't know what the fuck is happening. Are you hallucinating or something?

You snap out of your line of thoughts when you hear Dugan suck in a breath. He pulls out a handkerchief, and holds it against your temple. "Seems like you got a concussion," he deducts, "Take it easy. Should be healed in no time, knowing your healing factor. We'll take out the base. You go to the top of the hill and take out the remainder of the scum. Alright?" "Y-Yeah. You go ahead," you reply. Dugan smiles and salutes, before running off.

Perhaps this is just some dream. Or a weird flashback. But it can't be. It all seems so real and this text is not cursive. You decide to just play along. What else can you do?

You climb up the hill, keeping yourself low just in case any shooters are nearby. You take out your Katanas, but when holding them out in front of you, they feel weird. Less balanced, and heavier. These are most certainly not your Vibranium ones. But your signature is still on the bottom of the handles. Just like the Katanas you used to have. In the old days.

You hop back down on your stomach in the grass, when the gunfire starts again. Well, this is just great. Just fucking fantastic. You're in the middle of a mission you don't recall doing, with a guy who would probably be some sort of related to Timothy Dugan, fighting against HYDRA, who somehow returned, with swords you were sure you had stocked away somewhere.

You stiffen upon feeling a body hover over yours. Their elbows rest on the grass, your head in between them. When slowly trying to push yourself up, the person pushes you down again with their body. The obvious male figure shushes you softly, before you hear his gun reload. But instead of feeling the barrel against your head, the person shoots an upcoming HYDRA-soldier down.

"You know..." The person starts quietly, "I think a 'thank you' would be in order, since I'm the one who shot that guy down while you were taking a nap on the floor..." Your breath hitches. You'd recognize that voice anywhere. He rubs against you gently, before taking down yet another soldier.

 _Bucky_.

You turn your body, so you're now facing him. He smiles down at you, with only that bright smile a Bucky could show when he was still young. When he never went through the whole Winter Soldier state. Now, he's still happy. He's still himself.

And it finally makes you realize that you're not in the right period of time anymore. This is the 1940s. And World War II is still going on. Soon enough, Bucky will be the mindless assassin, trained to kill mercilessly, and Steve will be frozen deep in the ice, waiting to be found by you and Captain.

But right now, at this period in time, Bucky still lives the life he wants to live. His blue eyes sparkle, like they always should do. Like they're always supposed to do. You're not used to the clean-shaven face at all, or the fact that his hair is way shorter, modeled to his liking. "You okay, doll?" He asks, his eyes turning worried. "I-I'm fine. Thank you," you reply slowly. "Are you sure? Usually you don't thank me and instead make some sarcastic comment," he says.

You sigh, "I'm sure of it. Thank you. For everything." You press your lips against his. He moans, cupping your cheek with one hand while trying to stop himself from grinding against you. An explosion close by snaps you out of your kiss. Bucky smirks. "Let's go get revenge on those bastards for ruining our moment," he says, before getting up, pulling you with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, snap. What do you think of this first (real) chapter? Please do let me know, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	3. Gone

You run hand in hand down the hill, dodging bullets and explosions, before reaching the main road again. You turn your head upon hearing a motorcycle.

"We're gonna have to take this on using a different technique," Steve says, after he had stopped the bike right next to you. "They're just too many of them. Lady Pool, how about you and me use the one we talked about earlier in the base?" You're a bit too stunned to reply. You're probably grinning like a complete idiot right now, but you don't care. Your two boys, fighting alongside again like they used to, as best friends.

"Uh, Lady Pool?" Steve asks, a bit confused as to why you're staring at him like that, with a smile plastered on your face. You quickly snap out of it. You have to focus now. "R-Right. Remind me again what that technique was? I may or may not have gotten a small concussion," you reply. Bucky turns to you. "A concussion? When did you get a concussion? Are you okay?" He rambles, cupping your cheeks in his hand and inspecting your face worriedly. "Bucky," you push his hands away, continuing, "I'm fine. Healing factor, remember?" He sighs knowingly, and nods.

"Anyway," Steve continues, "Where you tag along with me on the bike, and take down soldiers with your guns. You're the best shooter we have." "I'm flattered," you tell him, smirking. Before you know it, Bucky lifts you up and sets you back down on Steve's lap. "You better take care of her, punk. If she gets hurt, I'll hurt you even more," Bucky tells Steve. You know it's all just fun and games though. "Wouldn't want to dream of it," Steve chuckles, before taking off, leaving Bucky behind and Dugan who just arrived.

This is totally not weird. You're straddling Captain America, your former lover, who you still have awkward moments of tension with from time to time. But is that still the case right now? Apparently you're in the 1940s, so none of that has happened yet.

You take out your guns, and rest your elbows on Steve's shoulders to improve your aim. You shoot, and miss none. "I told you you were the best shooter," Steve chuckles. "You have improved your flirting skills, I hear. You should continue with the compliments, Rogers. It's a real turn-on," you say.

His brows furrow. "What?" He chuckles a little awkwardly, confused, but still trying to be polite.

And then you realize.

"I- Uh, I mean you're getting better at the flirting part. Peggy's one lucky woman," you correct quickly. Steve blushes at that, too shy to comment about it.

You realize Steve still has feelings for Peggy now. And absolutely none for you. Well, he might love you, but that would just be as a friend. It feels weird. Not getting that affection from him. Perhaps it's just you being jealous or selfish, but you can't help but feel a little sad about it. One flirty comment in the future and Steve wouldn't be able to handle himself and kiss you. One flirty comment now and it's just awkward. Getting a flirty comment from your best friend's girl is not a good thing to him now.

It's disappointing, really. But you can't brood on it any further. You have to focus on the battle.

Only, it's a bit difficult to focus when you start to feel dizzy.

And your world spins again.

When you finally open your eyes again, you meet two blue ones. "(Y/N)?" Steve asks, "Are you okay?" You're back in the jungle, it seems, in the middle of the crater. Only now you're on the floor, Steve cradling you in his arms protectively. "I-I thought- I just..." You can't bring out a proper sentence, mostly because of the initial shock caused from what the hell just happened. "It's okay," Steve hushes you, "Do you remember what happened? Just take it slow."

"There- There was a meteor and I touched it and then... I don't know what happened..." you mutter, your mind still a little hazy. "What meteor?" Steve asks. You furrow your brows. "The meteor in the middle-" You stop mid-sentence, when your eyes fall upon the rock. Or at least, where the rock was supposed to be.

It's gone.

"But... I thought..." Okay, this is such a mind-fuck. You were 100% sure that there was a meteor right there. "It's okay, we'll figure it out. Let's just get somewhere that has a roof before it starts pouring," Steve says, glancing up at the sky. And indeed, as expected, a loud thunderous grumble erupts from above.

When he tries to lift you up, you stop him. "(Y/N), we really have to go. We can come back later to investigate but-" "Wait," you interrupt him, "There's something I have to do first." Steve's brow furrows in confusion. "What do you-" You silence him by pressing your lips against his eagerly.

You don't know what has gotten into you all of the sudden, but you just feel like you should do this. Like you _need_ to do this. Because it feels _so_ good. His body pressed against yours, your hot panting breaths mingling with each other, as your tongue slips inside of his mouth. He moans, moving back just as eagerly.

But all of the sudden, he pulls back. You're both slightly out of breath, still gazing into each others eyes. You know how difficult it is for him to keep himself together, to prevent himself from taking you right now, when you have that seductive look on your face, biting your lower lip. "Let's- Let's go find a h-hotel or something," Steve mutters, before getting up and starting to walk in the direction of the village, carrying you in his arms.

Little did either of you know, that something latched onto you when you were out.

Something which will slowly consume you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such drama and sexual tension. Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	4. Dark Thoughts

Steve sets you down on the bed gently. He had rented a hotel room for the both of you. Nothing too fancy, but still quite beautiful, considering you have a view of the Wakandian jungle on the balcony, and on the other side a view of the city through the window.

He takes a seat next to you, stroking your hair carefully. "What happened out there, (Y/N)?" He asks. "I don't know..." you whisper. And you mean it. What happened at the crater, is something you don't quite understand yet. Something you're not ready to talk about yet. "It's okay," Steve tells you, "Whenever you feel like telling me, I'm here for you." You smile up at him.

"Sharon made sure we can stay in our apartment for a few weeks, without any interference from the government," he says. You clench your jaw, turning your eyes to your hands resting on your stomach. Of course he'd contact Sharon. It's always her.

But why does he like her so much? Is it because she's related to Peggy? Is it because Sharon reminds him of her? No, you're just being jealous right now, and selfish. But you still can't shake off that certain feeling. The feeling that he belongs with you. That he belongs _to_ you.

That you should claim him as your own.

"(Y/N)? Are you okay? You look a little pale," Steve notices, his eyes scanning you in concern. "I'm okay. Stop worrying," you sigh, "It's annoying everyone keeps asking that when you have a healing factor." "I understand. Sorry. But if anything is wrong, just tell me," Steve replies.

You should now.

You get up and slide onto Steve's lap in one swift movement. His eyes widen in surprise when you press your lips against his, pulling him closer by the collar of his shirt. Your kiss is eager and rough, while Steve starts to kiss back slowly and gently. You buck your hips against his, causing him to let out a groan.

**Steve's P.O.V.**

Oh god, she's kissing me. I should stop. This is wrong, in so many levels. Bucky asked me to take care of her, to keep her safe. I can't just do this to him. He's my friend. It's already horrible that I had a relationship with her before.

It's wrong. But it feels _so_ good.

Her hands sliding up and down my torso, her hips grinding against mine and our lips connecting. It shouldn't be like this.

I pull away.

But that only gives her the chance to start sucking at my neck. "What's wrong?" She breathes against my skin, causing a shiver to run down my back. "I- We can't do this," I sigh, gently pushing her off of me and onto the bed. "You know we can't." Her eyes give away that she's disappointed. And hurt.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, "I-I don't know what has gotten into me... I just- I can't..." When I notice the tears forming in her eyes, I wrap my arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. She sobs into my shoulder. I've never seen her like this before, apart from the time Bucky fell off the train and the time she found out he was still alive. She was so upset, and is now too.

"I miss him so much, Steve," she cries. "I know," I hush her, stroking her back, "I know."

We stay like this for a while. At least, until we had to pack and head to the airport.

The plane ride is spent in silence. And (Y/N) looks very pale. It worries me seeing her like this. She might not get hurt physically, but mentally is another story.

**| HOURS LATER |**

She's been in her bedroom for quite some time now. She'll have to eat eventually.

Right?

I mean, I'm not too sure how her healing factor works, but a person can't live a life with an empty stomach, right? I just got us fast food anyway. If I have to, I'll force her to eat it. Probably not. She'd kill me if I so much as tried.

I knock on the door softly, before opening it a notch. She's still in bed, as expected, refusing to move except to get in a better position. "Go away, Steve," she groans. "Not until you eat. I'll stay if you don't," I reply. She sighs, throwing the blankets off of her and sitting upright. I place the food down in front of her, before taking a seat on the bed as well. She stares at it for a moment. Then she shakes her head. "I'm not hungry," she tells me. I raise my brows at that. "You're _always_ hungry. You once ordered a _second_ desert when we were at a restaurant," I chuckle. She shrugs as she gets up. "I'm just not hungry, okay? I'm gonna go take a shower." I nod, replying, "Okay. If you need me, call me. I'm just gonna go for a run."

She waves without looking back at me before disappearing into the bathroom.

"I don't know what to do," I sigh. Natasha turns her wine glass in her hands carefully, keeping her eyes fixated on the twirling red liquid inside. I had decided it would be best to talk to her. She's my friend, after all.

"It feels like she's having a breakdown or something," I continue. "Sounds to me like she has a depression," Nat comments. "Nah, she's not the type to get a depression that quickly," I tell her. Though when I think of it, it kind of makes sense.

Is she depressed? Have I not taken care of her properly? Supported her properly? Did I let Bucky, and most important of all, myself down? I love the girl and I'd do anything to help her. Can she not see that?

"I agree," the redhead snaps me out of my thoughts. "What? I thought you just said-" "There's still hope for Bucky," she interrupts, "She wouldn't get in a depression unless someone died." I sigh and nod in agreement. That's when I see something in Natasha's eyes, like a switch turns on in her head. "Or unless..." she says,

"... she just pretended so you'd leave."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might notice, this story has taken a darker turn than the previous book. I do hope you're still enjoying this though. Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a comment. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	5. Right And Wrong Tracks

I made my way back home as fast as possible, dodging traffic and taking shortcuts from my usual route. It would've been a good way to exercise, if I wasn't so panicked.

When I finally reach our apartment and turn the keys with my clumsily shaky hands in the lock, I storm in. I find nothing. No one. (Y/N)'s gone.

This can't be happening. She can't just do this to me.

On her bed lies a note. Why does she always leave a fucking note? How is she this good at making notes?

_Steve,_

_I'm sorry I keep disappearing on you like this. But you know I can't stay here. And I don't plan on dragging you with me, even though I know you'd follow me anywhere across the world, which I appreciate. The thing is, you deserve better, and I don't need a babysitter. I can take care of myself. And I trust you take care of yourself too._

_To keep myself busy, I've planned out a few missions. There are people who live in peace in this world, who are happy. Some of them don't deserve that happiness. Don't worry though. It'll all be better soon._

_Don't try to look for me, or follow me in any way. If you're really my friend, if you really care about me, you'll leave me be. I'm not really in the right set of mind right now. I guess you could say I'm sort of sick. Nothing a doctor can fix though. Not like a small cold or fever. This is something I have to figure out on my own._

_I wish you the best, Steve. I really do. Know that I care about you. Even if I don't show it all of the time. Sharon is a lucky girl._

_\- Lady_

Wait, what? I reread the letter again, letting every single word sink in. What kind of missions? What does she mean with "It'll all be better soon"? Those words do no not comfort me in any way.

Is she really sick? What kind of illness or mental disease can't a doctor fix, reduce or at least try to make an antidote for? I have to go find her. She doesn't have to do this on her own, and I at least want her to know that.

" _Sharon is a lucky girl_ ". If only she knew...

So many unanswerable questions pop up in my head. Why did she sign with only "Lady"? Usually it's "Lady DP" or "Your dope ass fresh princess". That last one was one time, okay? Don't even start.

I have to find her. Question is; where do I start? She's got the whole world to rediscover. She can teleport basically anywhere, from what I know. She had told me she'd been practicing too. She could be miles away. Or even worlds away.

No, that would be insane.

I should ask Wanda for help. She'd know how to find (Y/N). At least, if she still wants to help me out after everything. Can't hurt to give her a call, right?

**| A FEW HOURS LATER |**

"So you have absolutely no clue where she went? No trails, or leads? Nothing?" Clint asks. I shake my head. "I searched the whole apartment. She took only a bag and the important stuff. She's a smart woman. She knows how to wipe her traces," I reply.

I thank misses Barton as she sets down a cup of tea for me on the coffee table. "I could try to get a hold of her mind. See what she's thinking," Wanda suggests, "It's a long shot, but I'm willing to try. I just need something that belongs to her. Something personal."

"How about someone?" Clint intervenes. I furrow my brows. "What do you mean?" My question is quickly answered by a bark erupting from the backyard, causing miss Barton to jump in surprise. "That dog scares me every time..." she sighs, placing a hand on her chest to calm herself. Clint chuckles, getting up from his seat on the couch and wrapping an arm around his wife. "He's good company. At least with him we're not outnumbered anymore," he says. "Depends on your point of view. Whenever you're with that wolf, you're just as bad as the kids," she replies. "I am not!" Clint protests, as he opens the front door.

Captain runs in, whipping his tail to and fro in excitement. When his eyes land on me, he seems to get even more crazy. He jumps on my lap and starts to lick at my face and take in my scent. I laugh at his actions. Of course I'm happy to see him too. It's been quite a while.

"Uh, I'm not sure if I can manage with a wolf..." Wanda mutters, "Unless they have a really strong connection." "I think it's pretty damn strong. Cap got her out of a tank filled with chemicals one time, and got himself a healing factor in the process. He's got heart," I tell her. I notice Clint smile from the corner of my eye. "What?" I ask, trying to act casual, "She told me the story once." "Oh, I'm sure she did," Clint replies with a wink.

"Alright, I'll try," Wanda sighs, before kneeling down on the floor. Cap moves to sit in front of her immediately, like he just knows what's about to happen. It's one strange dog, I tell ya. But one hell of an awesome one too.

She places her fingers against Cap's temples, and they both close their eyes simultaneously. We wait in a nerve-wrecking silence.

Five minutes passed. Five minutes passed before something finally happened.

Wanda yells out, pulling her hands back from the wolf like she burnt them in fire. Captain whines quietly, bowing his head, almost looking sad. Why would he be sad? Did something happen to her? Is she okay? Wanda's eyes meet mine, as her chest is still rising and falling, her lungs gasping for air. Clint had crouched down next to her worriedly, making sure she's not hurt, but Wanda doesn't seem to pay attention to him.

"Something's wrong," she pants, tears starting to form in her eyes, "I can't get inside of her head. Something's blocking me out, like it's taken over her head. Like it's taken over her. Something is _inside_ her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a lot of research on the thingy that plays a big part in this story. If you know what I'm talking about *wink*. I'm about 99.99% sure this story is gonna go way darker now. Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	6. Being Watched

**Your P.O.V.**

You've just arrived in Belgium. A very conservative country, in some ways. Very traditional. Plus, you have a real craving for chocolate all of the sudden. And what place has better chocolate than Belgium?

It's strange being on your own like this, after a while of always having people near you. It's like the random pedestrians passing you give you weird looks. Of course you're still aware you have the healed scar running across your face, but it's never bothered you before that strangers judge you for it. Why would it bother you now? You're in a country you barely know, around people you've never seen before, and who you'll probably never see again.

Though you can't shake off the nagging feeling of being watched. By everyone.

You make the decision to put on your sunhat and sunglasses, just to diminish that feeling. It's a vacation trip to you, and you hate stressing about something.

After striding through only a few streets, you find a small chocolate shop. Stepping inside, you quickly close the door behind you. The shop owner, who's seated behind the counter, looks up from his piece of art curiously. "Goedemiddag," he says, which you guess is a greeting, "Hoe kan ik u helpen?"

"I-Uh... I don't really speak..." "Ah, American, I see," he chuckles, getting up from his seat. You feel like you can trust this greying elder man already. It's probably the smile on his face, matched with his twinkling brown eyes. "How can I help you, miss?" He speaks English quite well too, it seems. "I... I was just searching a spot where I could shamelessly buy all the chocolate I want," you admit. The man's smile grows even bigger, as he claps his hands together in excitement. "Well, then you've come to the right place, my dear," he chuckles, guiding you along to the display cases.

**Steve's P.O.V.**

"Well, what do we do now?" I ask. I'm really getting desperate now. And scared, most of all. I was supposed to protect her. I'm such an idiot.

"It's not your fault, Steve," Wanda tells me, "You couldn't have prevented this from happening. Whatever latched itself onto (Y/N) is something dangerous. It's not from this world." "Should we contact Thor and ask him what it is?" Clint suggests. "How do you plan on doing that?" I question. "Well," the archer chuckles, "It's been a while since we've had an alien invasion-" He quickly shuts himself up by clearing his throat when he sees his wife's glare.

"I could try again," Wanda proposes, "Perhaps this time it'll work." "No. No way in hell," Clint snaps, "Not after what just happened. You got hurt." "I'm fine, I just-" "You don't have to do anything you don't want to Wanda," I interrupt her. "But-" "Yeah, I'm sure there are other ways to find (Y/N)," Clint adds.

"Wait a second. How do both of you know her real name? She never tells anyone unless necessary," I ask. The archer shrugs. "We overheard her conversation with Stark at the prison. He dropped her name once by accident." I furrow my brows. "How does Tony know her name? I didn't know they were that close," I say.

"Perhaps you two 'gentlemen' could shut up for a moment and let Wanda speak," miss Barton interrupts, crossing her arms over her chest, "She can make her own decisions just fine." "But she's just a kid!" Me and Clint protest in unison. We lock eyes for a mere, awkward second before turning back to Laura. "She's not a kid anymore! She's an Avenger. You said so yourself, Clint. Even though I see herself as one of my own and would do anything to protect her, which I know Clint agrees on, she's still a strong, independent woman who can tell what's best," she says. Clint sighs, running a hand through his hair tiredly. "Fine," he finally states.

Wanda smiles, mouthing a quick thanks to miss Barton, before speaking up.

"I think it's worth taking another shot. I know what I should prepare for now." "You don't have to do this, Wanda. I wouldn't want to risk you getting hurt," I tell her, taking her hand in mine, "I care about you as much as I care about (Y/N)." She chuckles in amusement. "You and I both know that's not true," she says.

Before I can say anything else, she's back on the floor with Cap in front of her.

This time, it takes less than five minutes for something to happen. And this time, it's a lot less painful for Wanda. Her brows furrow, her eyes still closed. "She's... in Europe somewhere..." she mutters. Clint quickly scribbles it down on a piece of paper, even though it's quite easy to remember. Probably just the nerves. "In Belgium," Wanda continues. "Belgium? Why would she go to Belgium?" I ask confused. "Maybe to buy chocolate," Laura shrugs. Clint looks up at her from his seat and sighs, like it's some silly assertion.

In a matter of minutes we have the correct location and we're suited up. Or at least, Clint and me are. "Let me come with you!" Wanda whines. "No way, Jose," Clint replies, as he throws his quiver over his shoulder, "You're staying right here." "Is it because you think I'll cause another accident? Is it because you think I'm dangerous? Because you're scared?" She snarls back. "Sorry, kiddo. That guilt-provoking thing you do don't work with me," the archer chuckles.

Before we leave, Clint kisses his wife goodbye. "You take care of them. And yourself, okay?" Laura mutters. "Yes, ma'am," Clint replies with a smile.

From the baby monitor erupts a crying noise. Laura sighs. "That's my cue," she says, before disappearing out of sight along with Wanda. "You don't have to do this for me either, you know," I say. "I know," Clint replies, "But I owe it to her. She's my friend and I'd do anything to save her." I smile, nodding in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone from Belgium? I live South in the Netherlands. Neighbors? No? Ah well. Hope you all enjoyed. Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	7. Search And Find

"Why would she go here?" I ask out loud, glancing at the candy through the shop window. Clint sighs, before chuckling a little. "You still don't know anything about women, do you?" "Not really," I reply in full honesty.

Stepping inside, we find an elder man seated behind a counter. When his eyes meet ours, they light up. "Captain America!" He exclaims, clapping his hands together in excitement. The archer groans, rubbing his tired eyes. We'd been so careful keeping our identity to ourselves, blending in with the " _I'm just a civilian_ " starter pack, as (Y/N) would call it. And here's this random guy, who's eyesight isn't the best, considering he's wearing glasses, who recognizes us immediately.

"How did you know?" I ask the shop owner as I take off my sunglasses. "Well, there was also the possibility of you being a bodybuilder, but I shook that possibility off since I met your teammate only a few hours ago. I figured you must be looking for her?" He replies. "Yes, we are actually. Do you have maybe any clue as to where she went? Any unusual activities she did?" I say. "Well..." the man sighs deeply, before continuing, "She did order a large amount of chocolate."

"That's not really out of the ordinary. She can eat a lot. Healing factor and all," Clint comments. "I don't think someone would ever eat that in one go," the man tells us, "There was something about her. I still can't quite put my finger on what it was, but she was acting very strange. Almost nervous, or panicked. When she left I caught her glancing around at people like she was scared." "Scared? Of the people?" Clint questions. The man shakes his head. "I think she was scared of herself," he replies with concern.

Herself? Why would she be scared of herself? Does this have to do with the sickness she supposedly has? Why won't she let me help her?

"If it helps anything, she asked me the fastest route to the train station," the shop owner adds. "Why didn't you just start with that in the first place?!" Clint asks, before striding out of the store angrily. I turn back to the elder man. "Thank you for your help, sir. If there's anything I can-" "Just try not to blow up a city again. That would be lovely," he chuckles. I know he means well, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

We arrive at the train station after running only a few minutes, and decide to split up. At least the chocolate shop owner was nice enough to tell us where she's planning on going too.

Germany.

I don't know why she chose Germany out of all places. Perhaps to relive a few memories from the war. But that's not of my concern right now. I have to find her.

**Your P.O.V.**

You hear the whistle of the conductor, before sensing the train starts to move forward. You leave the small glass trapdoor above the window open, suddenly feeling a heat wave rush through you. It's not even that warm outside, yet you feel like you're suffocating. It's very distressing.

When the conductor steps into your compartment, the feeling gets worse. The man greets you, seemingly annoyed, like he doesn't really cherish his work all that much. He snips your ticket, before disappearing out of sight again.

Something's bothering you. Something really strange is bothering you.

Your hunger won't lessen. Not even when eating like half a package of chocolate. You love chocolate, of course. Who doesn't? But you've never craved it _this_ much. It's like slowly eating you when not having any. Especially around other people.

And overall, you're just _so_ tired. You haven't felt this tired in years.

Perhaps it's okay to take a nap. Just a quick one. You'll be stuck in this train for a while anyway. You make yourself comfortable, before closing your eyes. You fall asleep immediately.

**Steve's P.O.V.**

I make a sliding stop when I finally reach the right platform.

No people to see, nor any trains.

I'm too late.

I fall onto my knees when my legs give out on me. My breaths are getting deep and heavy, making my head feel light. Tears start to form in my eyes, blurring my vision. I drop my head in my hands, and let out a shaky sob.

"Hey, man," I hear Clint's voice. He places his hands on my shoulders, crouching down next to me. "We'll find her. What are you so upset about? It's just a downfall. It happens." "Because I lost her, Clint," I mutter, "I lost her, _again_." 

Clint sighs. "I think this is about more than just that. Let's get you out of here." He pulls me up with him and guides me back out.

**Your P.O.V.**

Your eyelids feel heavy and your head hurts like hell. Like you fell face down on a concrete floor. And the ringing in your ears won't stop either. What the fuck happened? All you did was fall asleep during your train ride.

Right?

The floor beneath you feels cold. Moving your hands over the surface, however, you touch a warm, thick liquid. You snap your eyes open immediately and sit upright. You nearly clasped your hands in front of your mouth in shock, if it hadn't been for the blood covering them.

Bodies lay spread around you. Corpses. People with their limbs cut off and their eyes lifelessly wide open. Your Katanas lie bloodied on the floor with them.

How...

Your breaths turn shallow, as you start to hyperventilate.

You went on a killing spree and you don't even remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	8. The Investigation

**| A MONTH LATER | Steve's P.O.V.**

I sigh as I rip yet another " _wanted_ " poster from the notice-board hanging on the police office wall. Tucking it in my jacket warily, I stride towards the info desk.

"Well, good seeing you again, mister Rogers," the secretary greets, "The detective is ready to see you now." I smile and nod my thanks, preparing to step inside the office, but I stop when the female secretary continues, "And if you ever have any time off... Well, just call the office and I'll answer."

"Thanks, but no thanks, ma'am," I reply, "Not interested." "Not interested, or someone holding you back from what you really want?" she asks, her voice turning seductive. I raise my brows questioningly. "The only person holding me back right now would be you," I tell her, "I'm trying to track down a criminal here. And I already have a special girl in my life. Wouldn't want to trade her for the world. Now if you'll excuse me."

Shutting the office door behind me, leaving a speechless secretary outside, I turn to the detective. "So, I heard there was a new clue?" I start. Brett spins his seat around to face me, throwing a file on his desk. I take a step forward, and stop yet again upon hearing a familiar voice appear from the corner of the room behind me.

"Do you have any idea how inexplicably stupid you've been?" Fury snaps, as he rises from his seat. I sigh, bowing my head and closing my eyes for a mere second, before turning around. "I don't know what you're talking about," I reply casually. Fury's eyes narrow. "That's basically all I've been hearing from you for the last month. That you know nothing. I want some answers and I want them now. Detective Mahoney here has been keeping me up-to-date on your latest researches in the reports streaming in here at the police office," he says.

My eyes flicker to Brett's for a moment, which are currently fixated on the desk in front of him, just so they could avoid my disappointed look. "I'm trying to help you here," Fury tells me in all honesty. I can see it in his eye. "Why won't you let me?"

"There's nothing you could do to help," I say, "This is my business. And my business only." I storm out of the police station, ignoring the secretary and the curious gazes from other police officers passing me. I walk a few blocks, before finally rounding a corner and heading into an alley.

""I don't know what you're talking about"? Worst lie ever." I sigh knowingly at the voice erupting from behind me. "Well, to be fair, you're the one still trying to teach me how to properly keep up a poker-face," I chuckle, as I turn around. "I am a great teacher. You're just a hopeless case," Bucky says, smiling. I laugh quietly, before wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into a hug. "Jerk," I mutter. "Punk," he mutters back, returning the hug. "Wait, how did you know that I said that?" I ask, taking a step back in confusion.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam speaks up. I smile, as I notice Redwing hovering right next to him. "It's good seeing you too, Sam," I tell him.

"So, I take it we no longer have a reliable information source anymore?" Bucky asks. I shake my head sadly, turning my eyes to the concrete floor. "Hey," he starts, placing his hand on my shoulder, "We're gonna get 'em. No matter what it takes. It's our mission." Glancing back up at him, the corners of my mouth quirk up. Sam makes a vomiting noise. "This is even worse than seeing you with Stark, dude. Get a room," he says. Bucky shrugs, "You didn't move your seat up." "You're still pissed about that, man? Come on," Sam sighs in annoyance. "Oh yeah," Bucky chuckles.

" _Hey guys, I might have something_ ," I hear a voice in my earpiece say. "Aren't you supposed to be retired?" I ask. " _Yeah, I'm totally disappointing my kids right now. Like they're always so happy when I'm trying to fix the floor in the morning and I need to use the drill while they're allowed to sleep long. Kids these days get a real mood when they're disturbed from their slumber_ ," Clint replies. "Alright, alright, we get it. Get to the point." " _Got this video message from a guy who claims to be a former acquaintance. The camera quality seems pretty high tech. I know I've never seen anything like it before_." "Yeah, because you know all about today's tech now, don't you, Barton?" Bucky intervenes sarcastically. " _Says the 100-year-old man_ ," Clint snaps, " _I'm being serious here, guys. This 'acquaintance' is a strange fella. Said he's not really supposed to say his name out loud, because he wants to keep his real identity to himself. Calls himself "Star-Lord" instead_."

"We'll be there in a few hours. We're gonna grab some dinner first. I'm starving," I reply. " _Copy that. I should probably start cooking soon too. I'm trying to give Laura the day off._ " "How can she have a day off when you're there bothering her?" Sam asks. " _Shut it, Wilson. Over and out_ ," Clint grumbles, before cutting off the connection.

"So, what do you guys wanna eat?" I ask. "Pizza?" Bucky suggests. Sam and I nod in agreement. 

I take the poster out of my jacket when the guys aren't looking as we walk to a nearby pizzeria. I inspect the picture, before the letters imprinted above it.

_Lady Labyrinth._

We're going to find you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	9. We Have Each Other

**| 29 DAYS BEFORE THE EVENTS OF THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER |**

"I did not have a panic attack," I sputter. "Yes, you did. I recognize one when I see one," Sam says. I turn my eyes to the cup of tea set down in front of me.

I couldn't have had a panic attack. I don't have panic attacks. Sure, I've gotten- I get nightmares during the night, but no actual attacks.

Wanda takes a seat next to me, placing her hand on my shoulder and squeezing it encouragingly. "Steve, you know we're here for you," she tells me, "You can tells us what's going on. You don't have to carry all of the weight alone." "I can't ask that of you. I've already caused you so much trouble with the government," I reply, shaking my head. "That was _our_ choice, Steve," Wanda says, "We chose to do that. To step up against the forces who think they stand above everyone else. And it's _our_ choice to help you again." "Exactly," Clint comments. I glance at Sam, who shrugs. "I've always stood behind you. You know, to help, but not to get hit as well," he says, making me chuckle.

I sigh deeply. These people are never gonna leave me alone, are they? A part of me feels honored to have such good friends, but another half feels guilty. Guilty to put them through all of this. And scared that I might hurt them in the meantime. I shouldn't be asking for their aid, really. But it's the only option I have right now. I _need_ to find her.

"It's just that..." I sigh, taking a moment to search for the right words to say, and most of all, the courage to admit it. "...I love her."

It's quiet for a bit. I sort of expected for them to react like this. Only, I thought that there would be an unspoken tension hanging in the air, which I don't feel. It's more like a relief saying it out loud. When I start to wonder what the others might think of me, Clint clears it all up. "Well, breaking news," he chuckles, causing me to furrow my brows in confusion. He rolls his eyes upon seeing my facial expression. "I think that was pretty obvious to everyone else," Sam informs me.

My cheeks light up. Was it really that obvious?

"Yes. Yes, it was," Wanda says, smiling in amusement. "Even Clint saw," Laura comments as she walks into the room, setting down a tray of cookies on the table. "What's that supposed to mean?" The archer questions, "I have the sharpest eyes of the team!" "Yet you were unaware of Nat's relationship with Bruce, which was also pretty obvious," misses Barton argues. Clint shakes his head in disagreement, muttering, "I bet Steve didn't see it either." He glances at me, to which I swallow and turn my eyes away. "Even you knew?!" Clint finally realizes.

I shrug my shoulders. "I heard them flirting at Tony's party before everything Ultron-related happened." "When was that? When you were making out with (Y/N)?" he questions. My eyes widen and I feel my cheeks warm up even more. "Clint," Laura gasps, smacking her husband on the back of the head (not too hard). "It wasn't my fault!" the archer protests, "I was about to go to the bathroom when I saw! I left immediately after. I swear."

"Can we stop bickering about this? Just a small reminder, we still have to find (Y/N)," Wanda intervenes. "Right," I agrees, clearing my throat.

I get an idea. "What if we call Tony?"

"Not in a million years," Clint snarls, - again - causing miss Barton to roll her eyes in annoyance. "Why not? He could help us track her down, at least," I suggest. "Steve, you sent him a letter," Wanda says, "If he wanted you by his side, he'd call. He hasn't yet now, has he?" I sigh and shake my head.

That's when my phone rings.

Everyone glances at me curiously as I take the device out of my pocket. I let out an airy laugh. "Speak of the devil," I mutter.

**Your P.O.V.**

You have decided to basically block out the fact that you murdered a bunch of people and don't remember doing so. You don't know how, when or why you did it, and it bothers you immensely.

It's been two days without any black-outs though, which you consider to be a good thing. Only your hunger has still not lessened, nor your tiredness, no matter how long you sleep or how much you eat.

You have isolated yourself, staying as far away from any life forms as possible. You don't want to risk anyone else getting hurt. So currently you're spending your free time in the highlands of Germany. Between a bunch of ruins. Literally.

You've fought on these grounds in the war. You thought it would be interesting to relive old memories. Well, you thought wrong. It's only getting you more and more depressed. The Howling Commandos are all dead, Bucky's gone and you left Steve. You're all alone now. At first you thought it was a good thing, but now? You feel so damn lonely.

_We don't need them. We have each other.  
_

Maybe you don't need them. You've got yourself, after all, and you're the only one you need in your life right now. Everyone else always leaves anyway, and you're sick of it.

_Good._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	10. Fantasies And Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING | Explicit sexual content.

You step over the threshold of the ruin. You're surprised most of it is still standing, considering it's been over a hundred years since you've stood on this exact spot. Plus, you did set off a few explosions too while you were here.

Moving through what you assume was a very big kitchen, you come across a flight of stairs. You can't move up, since half of it is destroyed, and you're way too scared to teleport again. So you decide to move down.

Such a great idea. The basement.

Glancing around, you furrow your brows in confusion. When you were here you had explored the entire construction. Perhaps you hadn't though. You don't remember this room.

_I can make you remember._

**Steve's P.O.V.**

"He's late," Clint comments. I can hear the pure annoyance in his voice. He glances around the field again impatiently. We're waiting in front of his house, and the sun is setting slowly. "Perhaps something came up," I suggest. "What could be more important than this?" the archer snarls back. Before I can reply, I hear a bark. Cap seats himself on the grass next to where I'm standing. I scratch his head. I smile, knowing that this special wolf is probably the strongest out of all of us.

"Could you just take it easy on him?" I ask Clint. "Why should I? He locked me up in a prison in the middle of the ocean, along with the others. I'm not the person to be quickly forgiving." "I understand that. But you also have to understand that Tony was merely fighting for what he believes is right. Just like we were," I argue. Clint sighs deeply. "Fine," he finally grumbles.

We look up when we hear a noise sounding like a missile. "Just has to make a show out of everything, doesn't he?" Clint mutters. "Take it easy," I remind him.

Iron Man slams down on the ground a few feet in front of us.

Tony steps out of the suit, leaving it behind on sentry mode. It's probably good that he does, considering anyone could have followed him here. When he reaches us, he holds out his hand, which I shake firmly. "Captain," he greets. We're back to square one, I see. He then glances to Clint. "Stark," the archer merely snaps, before turning his back to the billionaire and striding back to the house. Tony sighs, moving his hands into his pockets. "I see we're still civil towards each other," he comments. "He'll cool down. Eventually," I reply, as we start to walk back as well. "I doubt that," I hear him mutter, but decide not to question it.

**Your P.O.V.**

_You sigh as you hop on top of the table. You swing your legs to and fro as you take a quick glance around the room. Looks like a basement, but used as a dungeon? You didn't know the Germans kept prisoners, apart from the time they kept Bucky._

_You and Bucky had been assigned to infiltrate this manor, while undercover as two guests at the party thrown upstairs. On the search of important files, you had headed downstairs._

_"This is just great, ya know," you comment sarcastically, "Just fantastic." "It's all part of the plan, okay?" Bucky mutters, slamming on the shut door. "Is accidentally shutting the door behind you, causing for it to lock, part of the plan? Really?" you question, raising your brows. He heaves a sigh, turning back to you. "Okay, fine. I admit it. We're stuck here. Now can you break the door? Or teleport us out?"_

_You purse your lips, thinking for a moment. "Hm, no," you finally reply. Bucky blinks. "Why not?" he asks. "Because I wanna teach you a lesson. You have to be more careful," you tell him._

_Bucky slowly walks towards you. "Please?" He whines. "Nope." He narrows his eyes. However, in a matter of seconds you see something glint in them. "Alright. Then I'll have to ask differently," he sighs, kneeling down in front of you. Your eyes widen, until you realize it's not just one knee he's on._

_He slides his hands up your thighs slowly, moving the hem of your dress up. When slipping back down again, he drags your underwear with them. He bites his lower lip, glancing up at you. "Still not decided to get us out of here?" He asks. Your voice seems to get stuck in your throat. He merely smiles at your reaction._

_He sets his hands on your inner thighs, spreading your legs apart and keeping them there in place. Moving his head underneath your skirt, you gasp when feeling his breath, down there. You grasp his hair as he sucks on your clit once, gently. He then proceeds to lick up an down your folds, giving a delicious sensation. His hands move your legs over his shoulders, allowing him easy access to enter you deep with his tongue. You let out a stiffed moan as he continues to push in and out of you, his nose rubbing your clit every time._

But that's not what happened. You don't remember doing that.

The first time you had made love with Bucky was when he had asked you to marry him. He had insisted he wanted it to be special, and not rushed. Well, he certainly proceeded in doing both.

_But it made you feel better, didn't it?_

It did make you feel better though. You don't know why, but just having a fantasy like that about Bucky makes you feel good again. It makes you feel wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm not too great at all the smut. And I'm tired because I just got back from a party, where I didn't know half of the people, and I kept thinking, "I could've written at least two chapters by now." So, I did. On my phone. But I'll upload those tomorrow. I should really head to bed. Please do let me know what you think though, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	11. We Have A Problem

**Steve's P.O.V.**

This is possibly one of the most awkward moments in my entire life. And that says a lot.

We're all seated or standing in the living room, drinking our tea in silence. At least, for the first five minutes. "So..." I finally speak, "You wanted to talk to me?" Tony swallows, nodding. "We have a problem," he says.

"Wait. _We_ have a problem?" Clint intervenes, "Since when is it _we_ , again, or _us_?" The billionaire sighs, "I know I've been a complete ass. But to my own defense, I did what I thought was right. What I _still_ think is right. You did that too, Clint. It just didn't work out the way we wanted." "Yeah, because you decided to make a war out of it. Against your friends," the archer snarls back. " _He_ -" Tony clears his throat, trying to calm himself as his eyes meet mine. " _He_ killed my parents. What do you think was going to happen? That everything was going to be fine after he said he was sorry and it was going to be all rainbows and happiness? That's not the real world, Barton. Just like your opinion on the Accords, it wasn't realistic." "If you think I-"

"Stop," I snap, making them both look up. "Stop with the bickering. I've had enough of it. There are more important matters." After Clint and Tony shared a short, daring glare, they finally both nod in agreement. "So, what is the problem?"

Tony brings out his phone, setting it down on the table before it displays a hologram, showing various news reports and pictures. "This is our problem," he says. Tapping somewhere in between the files, he makes even more pop up.

People murdered. Explosions set off in multiple places. Civilians too scared of going outside anymore. Various tribes in Africa saying there's a demon on the loose. The cases all have one thing in common; some of the body parts are missing.

Wanda places her hand subconsciously in front of her mouth in shock. "What is all of this?" Clint mutters. I clench my jaw. I think I know what's going on.

"I guess you guys haven't been following the news lately," Tony starts, getting up from his seat and sliding his hands in his pockets. "But it's been hell, summed up. We don't know how, when or why the attacks are planned. The police can't find a trace of evidence, except for one thing." "Which is?" The archer questions.

"She always marks a spot around the crime scene. It's always signed with _'Lady Labyrinth_ '."

All of their eyes turn to me, as I keep mine fixated on the wooden flooring. I know what they're all thinking, but I refuse to believe it.

"Steve-" "It's not her," I interrupt the billionaire, "She'd never do something like... like _that_." "Steve, we have to keep all possibilities open-" "She'd never. She's better than that," I snap. I feel tears welling up in my eyes. Before anyone can say anything else, I storm out the door.

I lean against the pillar on the deck of the house, and let out a shaky breath. She told me she wouldn't kill anyone anymore, unless it was truly necessary. She made that promise a long time ago. Maybe it's because of me. Because I held her back from what she really wanted to do. Or maybe I just didn't take care of her like I should have. I quickly wipe away a tear when I feel a presence behind me. A hand touches my shoulder gently, making me turn around. "Steve..." Wanda says quietly, "It's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself." "But why would she do it?" I ask, "Why would (Y/N) go out on a killing spree all of the sudden? You know she's better than that."

"You know what I said when I tried to track her the first time. I felt like something had taken over her. Perhaps it's not her doing this willingly." I nod in agreement. That would make sense. "Come on. Let's head back inside. Clint still has something to show us," she mutters.

I follow her into the living room, where Clint has already set up his laptop. The archer and billionaire both glance at me for a mere second, before turning back to the construction. "So, about that video message. Well, it'd be best to show you," Clint says. He turns on the screen.

A fairly young man takes a seat in front of the camera. You would describe him as the normal human being; having blond hair, blue eyes and some facial hair, if you hadn't noticed what you could see through the window behind him. 

_The galaxy._

Stars twinkling in the dark, seemingly so small, but actually huge up close. It makes you realize how big the galaxy actually is. Tony seems to be a little shocked as well, even though he's already seen space up close once. But that was a very hasty and stressful moment, with him on the verge of suffocating.

I'd say the man is in a space ship, even though it sounds like a very silly thing. But I've seen enough in my lifetime, so barely anything surprises me these days.

The man clears his throat, before waving a little awkwardly. "Hi," he greets, "Fellow earthlings. I come in peace." I hear someone laugh hysterically in the background, which makes the man sigh. "Shut up, Rocket," he mutters, before continuing, "I have an important message to the Avengers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, snap! What do you think? Please do let me know, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	12. Ain't No Mountain High Enough

**| FLASHBACK | Peter's P.O.V.**

"Peter!" I hear my mom call out from downstairs, "We have company! Do you want to come join us and have some hot cocoa?" "Okay!" I yell back. I place my alien figurines down on the floor in the right position carefully, making sure the monster stays under my bed and can't escape. That's right. Star-Lord keeps the world safe. I get up, taking my Captain America action figure with me, before running down the stairs.

I stop however when I near the kitchen, upon hearing my mom talk in a hushed voice. I stay hidden around the corner.

"I don't know what to do (Y/N)..." she sighs. My spirits lift immediately. It's always a fun time when auntie (Y/N) comes over. I know she's not really my aunt, just a really good friend of my mom's, but she takes care of me, and that's why I call her that. My mom thinks it's sweet, so she doesn't mind.

But hearing my mom like this, is weird. She sounds sad. Why is she sad?

"I think it'd be best to tell him, Meredith," (Y/N) says. "I know... It's just so difficult. When I'll be gone, what will happen to him? Where will he go?" mom mutters. My aunt sighs deeply, before replying, "If it comes to it, I'll take care of him. And scold his dad if he doesn't show up." My mom laughs at that. I hear her voice break slightly at the end though, before she starts coughing loudly.

"You okay?" (Y/N) asks. "I'm good. Can't do anything to fix it, can I?" mom replies. It's quiet for a moment.

"Damn cancer."

That's probably the first time I've hear my mom swear. My breath gets caught up in my throat. I know what cancer is. I'm not stupid.

"M-Mom?" I hesitantly speak up, appearing from my hiding spot. Mom's seated at the kitchen table, as (Y/N) leans against the counter top. Both of their eyes widen upon seeing me. "Peter..." I feel the tears sting in my eyes, as I take a step back. "Peter, wait," mom says, but I ignore her and run outside. I fall onto my knees in the grass field, dropping my head in my hands, letting out a quiet sob.

I feel a hand touch my shoulder, making me snap back up. "It's just me," (Y/N) hushes. I bite my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. I don't want to cry in front of her. She's always so cool. Why can't I be like her? I jump into her arms, and she catches me in a hug.

"Do you wanna get out of this place?" She asks. I nod into her shoulder. She lifts me up and starts to walk.

She ends up taking me to the local carnival, which makes me feel a little better. We get cotton candy and she wins me a big, purple alien plushy. We take a short break on one of the benches. "You wanna go in the Ferris wheel next?" She asks me when the sun is close to setting. "I... Uh, no. I can't go in there..." I mumble. "Why not?" I bite my lip, too embarrassed to tell her. When she glances at me, seeing the look on my face, she smiles. "Afraid of heights?" I nod in response.

"That's okay," she says. I furrow my brows in confusion. "It is?" I question. "Of course it is!" she replies, "Wanna hear a secret?" I nod again. She studies my action figure, which I had taken with me. "Captain America was afraid of heights too." "No way," I laugh, "That's a lie. He's scared of nothing." "Trust me, he was scared of a whole lot. I should know, since I knew him," (Y/N) tells me. My eyes widen, making her smirk. "But... I thought that was back in the 1940s?" "It's a very long story, kid. Let's just keep it at that I'm a lot older than I look."

I finally make the brave decision to head into the attraction anyway. When we're all buckled up and on top of the wheel, I finally move my hands away from my eyes and look around.

It's actually not that scary, to my own surprise. I can see the people below me, along with the stalls, lit up by the lanterns. I can see everything. Glancing up, I find the stars shining above me, twinkling in the darkness.

"You know... Your mom really loves you. And she's afraid to leave you behind, just as much as you're afraid to lose her. Or perhaps even more so," (Y/N) says. "I know... But she's the only real family I have. I never even got to know my dad, and now he might be taking me with him. What if I don't like him?" I reply. "Oh, I think you'll like him a whole lot. Do you know where you'll go with him?" I shake my head. She points upwards, to the sky. I laugh, "There's not a chance that's ever gonna happen." "Why not? You can be an astronaut," she suggests. "Yeah, but astronauts can't get that far yet. Only thing they've accomplished is getting to the moon. And the galaxy is a lot bigger than just our little world," I reply.

"Yeah... But what if there was a way? What if the technology up there was way more advanced? So you could travel anywhere you'd want to travel?" "Then that would be awesome," I tell her, grinning. She chuckles, "You're a pretty smart kid for your age, you know that?" "Yeah, school's pretty boring to me. It's all too easy," I say. "Well, you got the brains from your dad, clearly. And don't you worry about your mom," (Y/N) replies, "She's gonna be just fine."

**| END FLASHBACK |**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby Star-Lord, aw. Anyway, please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	13. Save Her

**Steve's P.O.V.**

"Who the hell is this guy?" Tony asks. "You're about to find out," Clint replies. I turn my focus back to the video.

"My name is something I cannot tell. It's kinda part of my secret identity and all, ya know," the man says. "Right, like no one knows who you are by now," another voice from the background appears, only this time, it's female. The man ignores her, continuing, "Instead, you can just call me by my legendary outlaw name; Star-Lord."

"A bit narcissistic, don't you think?" Tony asks. "Says ' _Iron Man_ '," Clint comments. "I only got the name from the media," the billionaire replies. "Guys, please," I sigh. That makes them finally shut up.

"So, I've seen some of the news from Terra, or as you call it, _Earth_ , and I've seen a former acquaintance of mine pop up. Quite a few times, actually. And just so it happens, _our_ mission has to do with _yours_. We were asked to track a Symbiote, which had been bothering a lot of people. Until it disappeared. We believe it has-" "I don't think they know what a Symbiote is, Quill," yet another voice says. This time it's a lower and heavier voice. "They are Terran people after all." Star-Lord hushes the man quickly.

"Terran people?" I ask. Tony merely shrugs, not knowing what they mean either.

"Symbioses are a species from another unknown planet in another undiscovered part of the galaxy. Their goal is to help people, basically. Only their image of helping people is attaching themselves to someone and taking control of their body, to turn them into a hero of some sorts," Star-Lord tells us.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Tony asks. "Why would it be?" Clint questions. "Well, I think this is all pretty damn messed up," the billionaire replies. "You've seen aliens. You've flown into a worm hole. You freaking _created_ a robot with a mind of its own! And now you're telling me you don't believe this?" "It's just a lot to take in, okay? Jeez."

"We think he - or she, we don't really know a gender for it - has taken a certain liking to (Y/N), or Lady Deadpool, your friend. At least, I hope she's still your friend," the blond says.

I take a quick glance to Tony, who clenches his jaw.

"People with an advanced genetic code, like Captain America - I'm a big fan by the way-" "Quill! Get to the point!" The first voice, who had initially laughed in the beginning of the video, yells. "Right, sorry. Gosh. Anyway, people like you guys can corrupt the Symbiotes, which is most definitely not a good thing," Star-Lord continues, "Corrupt Symbiotes feed on the host's adrenaline. They will force the host to preform death defying feats, just to survive."

It all makes sense now. The murdering, the strange behavior. It was never her fault. Though I'm relieved of it, my wordiness does not disappear. The so called 'Symbiote' still has full power over her, and who knows what will happen when (Y/N) can no longer keep it happy.

"Also..." the man quickly glances down to his hand. I hear a voice sigh in annoyance in the background.

I take it he wrote down a cheat sheet on there. 

He looks back up, and proceeds, "The Symbiote also lives off of another chemical. It uh... is a very special chemical." He swallows hard.

I can tell he's having a difficult time with this, and I wonder why.

"The chemical can only be found in chocolate and... brain tissue."

Tony drops his cup of tea. The porcelain falls onto the floor with a clang, breaking into sharp pieces. Clint seems unaware of this, however, in his shock. My hands start to shake. It can't be true. She couldn't have- It's just _disgusting_. How could a creature force someone to do such a thing?

"So, basically the host has to eat a lot of chocolate... or become an unwilling cannibal..." Star-Lord explains. He fumbles with his hands, trying to keep himself together. "We, uh... That's all the info we managed to gather so far. Not one person we've spoken to seems to know how to get rid of a Symbiote, or how to destroy it. Old tales say that when a person is bonded with a Symbiote, it will be the end of them. The host will eventually die of exhaustion, since the creature takes up all of the adrenaline and energy. But... I know that won't happen with (Y/N). She has a healing factor." He blinks a few times.

I can see the shimmering of tears in his eyes, and I can feel the same happening in mine.

"Peter..." I hear the female voice again, trying to comfort the man. Peter sniffs, gathering himself and continuing. "But I know who you are. You're the _Avengers_. And I know you will find a way. I know you will find a way to save her from this. I made a promise to her long ago that I would do something if I got the chance to... and now is that chance. So I can't help you, no matter how much I want to. She'll get pissed off if I do. And especially now with the Symbiote, you do not want to piss her off. So, I hope- I _need_ you to save her. Because if you don't, I'll take my personal superhero team and come beat you up!" "No, we're not," the female voice says. "Nope," the first voice adds. "It's your personal business, Quill. I'm not getting involved in that. And I'm not really interested in visiting Terra. It reeks of humans," the second, lower voice says. "I am Groot!" A new, high-pitched voice appears. Star-Lord groans, rolling his eyes in annoyance, before turning serious again.

"Save her," he merely states. No, he merely _commands_. And I can see in his eyes that he means it, and that if we don't, something bad will happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dramatic chapter plot twisty reveal! Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	14. A Solution

"Alright, I think I have a solution," Tony finally says, like I had hoped he would, after the long silence, "We can just feed her enough chocolate. And I'm pretty sure we can get the adrenaline from sexual intercourse so I'm looking at you, Cap-" "We're supposed to get rid of the Symbiote," Clint intervenes. "I know," Tony says, "But until we come up with a solution, it's our job to keep it happy." Clint sighs, "Fine."

It's quiet for a moment. Until I decide to speak up.

"I can't do it." Tony's brows furrow. "Excuse me? I thought you wanted to save her? Why would you-" "I mean I can't _do_ it," I interrupt him. Clint's mouth shapes into an 'o' in understanding. Tony still doesn't seem to take the clue however, signing me to continue. "I've never... actually done it before," I admit quietly. Tony sputters, "What?! You're Captain-freaking-America! I'm sure lots of girls..." He trails off halfway when seeing the look on my face. "So... When I called you a 90-year-old virgin, it was actually a fact?" I nod in response.

Tony bites his lip, with his thinking face on.

I can't just have sex with her because it's a necessity. I want it to be real. I want it to be special. Not forced or anything like that.

I have another solution to our problem. But I'm not sure I like it, or if Tony would, even. It's worth a shot, even though I'm not in favor of it. I want (Y/N) back, and if this is the only solution, so be it.

"We could ask Bucky," I suggest. Tony's head snaps up. "That could work," Clint says. I can tell Tony's twisted. Of course he would be. The murderer of his parents could help his best - I think - friend. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea," he mutters. "I'm doing this, Tony," I say. He clenches his jaw. This is it. I've made up my mind. I'm going to get him back.

**| HOURS LATER |**

"Are you sure about this, Captain?" T'Challa questions, "Are you sure he wants this?" "No. But I'm sure he'll understand once I explain everything to him," I reply. I inspect the defrosting cryofreezer, containing the Winter Soldier.

The doctors had refused to allow me to be present at the awakening, telling me it's too dangerous and that he could go into shock. So, after waiting patiently in my room for a while, T'Challa enters. He takes a seat next to me on the bed, on which I've been reading a book to pass the time. The king chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. "You have been reading the same page as when I left you here," he says. "Well, it was a little hard to concentrate," I explain with a smile. T'Challa nods in understanding. "You're a good friend," he tells me.

"How is he?" I ask. "Confused. Lost, almost. Refuses to talk to our doctors, so they cannot decide if it would be best to let you see him right now." "And... what do you think?" I continue. T'Challa smiles. "I was going to ask you the same thing."

I follow the king through the long hallways, trying to remember the route. This place is just too big though. Especially the view is amazing. However, this might be the first time I pay no attention to the beautiful landscaping.

T'Challa finally stops in front of what I recognize to be (Y/N)'s room. He turns around and meets my eyes. "He told me he'd rather stay in here than his own room. If it's a problem, I could-" "No, it's fine." I nearly hit myself when I realize I just interrupted a king. T'Challa doesn't seem to mind however, as he continues, "All right. If you need me, I'll be at the end of the hall on the right." I nod gratefully, before watching him walk away.

Opening the door gently, I hesitantly peek inside.

On the bed sits a tired-looking Bucky. He's wearing a new shirt, though it's already soaked in cold sweat again. His elbow rests on his knee, with his face planted in his hand. When I step inside and close the door behind me, he finally looks up. "Steve," he breathes, in what sounds like relief. His face looks so pale. Pale like when he was still the Winter Soldier.

"Hey, Buck," I greet quietly, as I hesitantly take a few steps closer. "It's okay. I'm not gonna turn into him again," Bucky says, "That only happens when my dame is around, remember?" "Right," I sigh, taking a seat next to him. It's quiet for a while.

"How... how is she?" he asks.

I meet his eyes.

"She..." His eyes look so hopeful. And now I have to break the horrible news to him. I got him back to tell him that his best girl is not okay. "She's... she's not doing good, Buck," I mutter. Bucky sighs, "I know she's probably still upset with me-" "That's not it," I interrupt him. His brow furrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Something happened while you were gone..." I tell him.

I tell him. I tell him everything that happened. I was hesitant at first, not sure if it would be such a good idea to tell him everything in one go, but he seemed to be processing it well enough, so I continued.

When I finish, Bucky drops his head back in his hand. "Oh, doll..." he lets out a tired huff of air. "I'm so sorry, Buck. This is all my fault. If I hadn't-" "No," he says, locking eyes with me again, "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself. You did all you could have done to protect her, which is all I could've hoped for. And now we're going to find her. _Together_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	15. An Unpleasant Discovery

**| CURRENT DAY - 23 DAYS AFTER THE EVENTS OF THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER | Your P.O.V.**

You're seated on the rooftop, your legs dangling off the side, as you happily finish your chocolate ice cream. It's peaceful outside. At least, for now.

You glance down upon hearing two laughs. It's funny how they still cause that certain feeling in your stomach when seeing them. You wait patiently, until you're sure they're back in your- their apartment. You don't exactly live there anymore, spending the past month in and out of random hotels you pass on your travels.

"So, I heard you boys were looking for me," you hum, as you teleport yourself on the couch in between the two Super Soldiers, who jump up in surprise. "Oh, please, don't get up for me," you chuckle, "After all, this is your apartment I'm invading."

"Why are you here, Pool?" Steve asks, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. "Okay, first off, I thought you wanted me back since you basically searched everywhere for me, from what I've heard. Second off, I don't really use that name anymore-" "I meant, why are you here _now_? We've been looking for you for an entire month. Why show up all of the sudden?" Steve says. You sigh, patting the spaces on the comfortable couch - which you remember picking out a few years ago - next to you. Steve and Bucky share a glance, before Bucky makes the brave decision to sit. Steve clenches his jaw, before following his friend's action and taking a seat on your right.

"Because I missed you boys and I couldn't bare not seeing you any longer," you reply. "You and I both know that's not true," Steve grumbles. You take his hand in yours. "Of course it's true. I wouldn't lie about something like that now, would I?" You guide his hand to your knee, and slowly start to slide it up your inner thigh. Steve's breath hitches. "But it's not the only reason," he says. You clench your jaw, getting up from your seat and walking to the window.

You look at the city. At the people walking around, looking so small compared to everything else. If only they knew how big the world really is. If only they knew what is going on, and what will be happening soon enough.

_They have us. No need for them to worry._

"You're right," you reply, "It's not." "(Y/N)... Whatever you're up to-"

"What?" You hear Bucky asks, his tone holding confusion. You turn around and furrow your brow at his sudden odd question. Bucky swallows hard, as he gets up from his seat and steps closer to you. "Is... Is that your name? (Y/N)?" You narrow your eyes,not sure if this is a trap or not, but nod slowly anyway, replying, "Yes. Yes, it is."

Did you not tell him your name? Ever? You were pretty sure you had... But now come to think of it... Perhaps it had just slipped out of your mind over time. You've had so much on your mind, during the entirety of your life. It's not like you've ever really had a moment on which your could relax, or properly think. It's always just been pain and helping others. Not that it matters anymore now.

_We're helping others now. We're a hero._

Bucky's eyes flicker to Steve. "How do you know her name?" he asks. "That's a really long story, for which we don't have the time," you reply before Steve can say anything, placing a hand on Bucky's chest. Bucky seems to no longer pay any attention to you whatsoever, as he only sees Steve's jaw clench and his eyes fixated on your hand on Bucky's chest.

**Bucky's P.O.V.**

I've known Steve for a very long time. Longer than anyone should know someone. When we were kids, I could always tell if he was lying or not. I could read every expression written on his face.

And this time... I see jealousy. He's jealous, of my dame touching me? Why would he-

The dots finally connect in my head, as does my metal fist to his face. "Bucky!" (Y/N) brings out in shock, as Steve stumbles back slightly from the blow, his hand on his bruised jaw.

"Get. Out." I growl. He looks so helpless, his eyes moving to and fro from me to (Y/N). Until he finally nods, and leaves.

I don't know how he could do this to me. How could he take my best girl?

I turn around and lock eyes with her. She bites her bottom lip. I stride towards her, before picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder. "Where are we going?" I hear her ask casually, as I start to walk. "The bedroom. And we're not getting out of there any time soon," I reply.

**Steve's P.O.V.**

I sigh deeply as I step out of the apartment building, back onto the street. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Taking it out, I glance at the screen.

_"How did it go? - Clint"_

I quickly respond.

" _Like planned. - Steve_ "

Which is a complete lie. That did not go like planned at all. I feel so guilty. I should've told him sooner. I should've done something. If I had known he had still been alive those years ago, I never would've started anything with her. Then I probably never would've fallen so hard for her. I'm a complete idiot. Now I have nothing else to do but to head back to Tony's residence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	16. Failed Attempts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING | Explicit sexual content.

**Your P.O.V.**

You mewl happily as he thrusts in and out of you. His warm hands are placed on you inner thighs, spreading your legs wide for him. The feeling is amazing, having him so close to you, _inside_ of you. He's panting, and you're surprised he's still been keeping up with you. His stamina might be above the average, but now with your changes, yours has probably peaked high above it. 

His thrusts are getting deeper and harder, with him spending his remaining energy, as he moves his hand down between you and starts touching your clit. Your moans are getting louder, as you're getting close to the edge. When he finally hits that special spot inside of you, you both reach your limits. Bucky thrusts you slowly through your orgasm, bending down to kiss you lazily.

He carefully pulls out of you, before falling down on the bed next to you. "That was... _amazing_ ," he pants. "I know," you say, smirking as you lock eyes with him.

**Bucky's P.O.V.**

I'm completely spent. I wonder how this girl could have so much energy cropped up inside of her. I glance down at the markings on her bare body, which almost look like tattoos. I honestly don't know what they are, if they're actually even tattoos, but I'm not willing to risk asking. I don't want to insult her or scare her off right now. I have to keep her here. Stark had informed Steve he was close to a formula that could help her. He refuses to meet me in person however, which I completely understand and accept.

"I'm gonna go shower," she mutters against my lips, "Want to join me?" I nod happily, before throwing the sheets off of both of us and carrying her into the bathroom.

We end up in the shower. No sex. Just taking care of each other. It's reassuring to see that she still has this side. This way I know she's still with me. That she's still in there.

When we finish, to my surprise, she starts to put her suit back on again. "Got somewhere to be?" I ask, trying to sound casual. I wrap my arms around her from behind, ans start to kiss and suck at her neck. She moans quietly. I love hearing that noise. "Yes, I do actually," she tells me, moving her hand up to touch my hair. "This was great and all, but I have some business I need to take care of."

"Business?" I mutter against her neck, "Can't that wait? I have plans with you." She chuckles, "You're tired. Go get some sleep. I'll be back later." She walks out of the room, leaving me speechless.

I was supposed to keep her at bay, and now I've failed because I'm absolutely drained? I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to do this. The only way to satisfy my dame would be to inject me with yet another Super Soldier serum. But now come to think of it, I'm not sure that would even suffice.

**Steve's P.O.V.**

"It's not working," Tony sighs, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He smashes his hand on the table in his anger, causing some glass flasks to fall off the table and break into pieces on the floor.

"Calm down. Getting angry won't help anything," I say, "What's the problem?" "The problem?!" Tony laughs darkly, "The problem is that I don't know what the problem is. I can't find anything from this substance, apart from that it really wants to get out." I glance at the glass enclosure in the middle of the room, in which part of the Symbiote lives. It's about the size of an eraser, you could say, if it would stop moving.

It keeps bumping against the window, even though there's no way it's going to escape. It's still a mystery to me how we got it.

**| 15 DAYS EARLIER |**

We're staying at the compound, for now. Tony has made sure the staff keep their mouth shut of us being here, just in case Ross starts asking questions. Wanda refused to come, wanting to avoid any contact with Vision, saying she's not ready to deal with that yet. And Tony and Bucky make sure they're never in the same room together, which I accept.

However, neither the stress with the government nor the drama between teammates are on my mind right now.

_I take in my surroundings hastily. I'm on top of the Avengers Tower, it seems. Only the thing different about this is that the city around me is on fire. People are screaming, crying out for help. I want to help them. But I can't. There isn't a door or stairway leading down anywhere._

_"Look at the beauty, Captain," I hear a voice behind me. I turn around slowly, deliberately, not wanting to believe that my mind is right about who owns that voice. But my mind was right. "Isn't this magnificent?" The Red Skull asks, "Can't you see that this is what the people deserve?" "They never deserved this. You're a monster," I yell. Schmidt merely laughs. "You think I did this?" He questions. I furrow my brows in confusion. "This is your girlfriend's doing!"_

_"No..." I whisper in disbelief, moving my head and locking eyes with hers._

_They have darkened, along with the circles underneath her eyes. She looks extremely pale as well, but that doesn't stop her from smirking. "Well, I had some help," she hums._

_I feel a large hand grip my throat. An abnormally large hand, clothed with a golden gauntlet, in which six bright stones shimmer. "I'll take care of this one myself," a low voice beams, before the air gets sucked out of my lungs and everything turns black._

I snap my eyes open and sit upright immediately, breathing abnormally fast. My body is covered in cold sweat, soaking through my shirt. I've been getting nightmares lately, worse than ever, and this is usually what happens.

I pad my way to the kitchen on my bare feet, but stop upon hearing someone rumbling in the fridge. It could just be Bucky, but-

Bucky's bedroom door on my right opens, and his head peaks out. We share a knowing glance, before he steps out of his chamber as well and starts to quietly make his way to the kitchen, following right behind me. I nearly jump in surprise when Tony rounds a corner to my left and meets us.

He sighs in relief when he realizes it's only us. The quarrel between my two friends seems to be forgotten right now, it being very late and with the sudden possible burglary investigation. He signs for us to follow him.

He flicks the light switch on. On the floor next to the fridge, sits a very tired-looking girl. "I- Uh... I was just looking for something to eat..." she mutters. "Let me guess, something like chocolate?" Tony asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed awake longer than I should have to write this chapter. Anyway, please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	17. Fix Her

She gets up slowly, like if she'd make one wrong move, we'd grab her. Now that the light in the fridge illuminates part of the kitchen, I can finally take in her features properly. And what I see, scares me.

The suit on her body isn't the same anymore. It's like it's stuck to her, like it's part of her body now. The color scheme has turned darker too. Now it's mostly black. A very dark black. There are deep circles from pure exhaustion beneath her eyes. And oh, _her eyes_. They look so dull. Like someone flicked a switch. Like someone took the _life_ out of them. Her hair is all messy-looking, like she hasn't combed it in weeks, and her face is very pale.

She looks horrible.

But right now as I pay attention to her like this, she seems to be paying no attention to me whatsoever.

"Bucky," she breathes. My heart drops at the sight, really. Of her relief in seeing Bucky again. However, I can't let my feelings get in the way of this. I knew what I started when I got him out of cryo.

"Hey, doll," Bucky mutters, smiling hesitantly, taking a step towards her. She glances down at his feet when he moves, and shuffles back a little, nearly bumping against the door of the fridge. "S-Stop," she stutters, raising her hands up in front of her as if it would make us keep our distance. "Don't come any closer." "Why? What are you afraid of?" Bucky asks, taking yet another step. I'm not sure if doing that is the best idea, but decide not to question it any further. He knows how to approach her.

"I don't want to hurt you," she whispers, tears forming in her eyes. "Doll, I know you'd never hurt me," Bucky murmurs, in an attempt to comfort her. She shakes her head violently. "It's not me that will hurt you," she says, "There's something _inside_ of me." She grips at the fabric on the spot right above her heart, as the tears start to roll down her cheeks.

"Then let us help," Tony intervenes, "We can fix you, make you feel better." Her eyes meet his for a moment, looking lost, before they darken. "That's all you want, isn't it?" she snarls all of the sudden, "To _fix_ me. Who says I even want to be fixed?" "This thing inside of you, it's consuming you. We have to get it out of your system before it's too late. Just let us help. I know you're still in there," the billionaire says carefully.

Her eyes flicker around the room, like they're searching for something, until she shakes her head again. "This is who I am now. I guess part of me wanted to come here because I thought you'd understand..." "Then help us understand," I argue.

She flicks her wrists, shooting a black mass at us. I quickly dodge it, and run after her through the doors outside. It's dark and I can barely see, but I keep on moving. I don't hear any footsteps behind me, which probably means Bucky and Tony got caught by the sticky lumps. I finally catch a glance of her when she runs through the light of a lantern. Even though she has super speed, she can't outrun me, especially not now that she's exhausted.

I throw myself forward, sending both of us tumbling onto the grass, me landing on top of her. I pin her hands above her head to keep her from moving. She does not look happy.

Until, all of the sudden, a mischievous smirk appears on her face. "What are you gonna do now, Captain?" she asks quietly, "Stark and Barnes are left behind and you have nothing to imprison me with." "I don't want to imprison you," I hiss, causing her to raise her brows. "I want you to be here on your free will. (Y/N), I can't just let you go like this. This thing is destroying you. We can help. Just let us help, _please_." She swallows hard. I can see in her eyes that she's hesitating.

"I'm sorry, Captain." Her eyes darken again. "You know I can't let you do this. This is who I am now." I clench my jaw. It relaxes rather quickly though, my mouth opening slightly when she buckles her hips up. She rolls her pelvis against mine, and I let out a stifled moan.

She is not supposed to make me feel like this. I can't even control it. Am I that into her? I mean, I already knew I love her, but this is something else.

I snap out of my thoughts when she presses her lips against mine, slipping her tongue in my mouth with ease. I freeze, and for a second there I'm not sure what to do. Until I realize what my mission is. Though that moment of realization is short lived, since she teleports on top, flipping me around and straddling me. "Sorry, love," she mutters, leaning down to press a soft kiss against my lips, "We had some fun, I do have to admit," before she vanishes.

My chest is heaving up and down, partially from running and the other part-

"Where is she?!" Bucky asks panicked, as he finally reaches me. "I... I don't know..." I mutter. He furrows his brows, holding out his hand. I gratefully take it, letting him help me pull him up. "Stark did get a sample of the stuff she shot at us," he tells me, "He said he should be able to do something with it. And..." he glances at the empty sleeve of his shirt. "...I think it might be time to get a new one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	18. Taking A Break

**| PRESENT DAY |**

"Well, can I do anything to help?" I ask Tony. He shakes his head, waving me off. "Just... go get some lunch or something. You need a break once in a while too. You can tell me later how it went with Barnes and (Y/N)," he sighs. I nod, even though I'm not sure if I'm quite ready to talk to him about that.

I take a cab into town, disguising myself like usual with the " _I'm just a civilian_ " starter pack. Taking a seat at a booth in a small cafe, I order a cup of tea. That should soothe me. If I drink coffee now, I start to overthink things and get all stressed about things I shouldn't really stress about.

**Your P.O.V.**

You halt to a stop when passing a small cafe. Perhaps a cup of tea should do you good. You haven't really been getting a lot of sleep lately. Well, partially because you were busy and partially because a certain Super Soldier kept you occupied-

Speaking of Super Soldiers, you feel a familiar presence behind you as the cashier hands you your cup of tea.

You slide into the seat next to him. "Still rocking the " _I'm just a civilian_ " look, I see," you chuckle, making him jump slightly in surprise. "(Y/N)," he breathes, "What are you doing here?" "Can't a lady catch a break once in a while? I have a life too, you know," you reply. He sighs, setting his sunglasses down on the table, turning his eyes back to his hand stirring a spoon in his teacup. It's quiet for a while.

"Well, this isn't awkward at all," you mutter sarcastically. Steve lets out a huff of breath in agreement. "So... a little birdy told me you have a thing for me..." you start. That gets him to snap his head up. "It's not like I can do anything about that-" "I know," you interrupt him, "Since when?"

Steve shrugs his shoulders, "Ever since I got out of the ice and saw you again for the first time in that busy street in New York. Took me a little longer to realize it though." You smile fondly at that, but your smile turns into a frown rather quick. "What about a certain CIA-agent?" you question. "Who? Sharon?" Steve asks. His cheeks light up, which is enough of an answer to you. As you're about to get up, Steve stops you, tugging on your hand. "Wait," he says, "Let me explain." You sigh, sliding back in your seat, as he starts to talk.

"When I see you and Bucky together... I can tell you two are inseparable. You belong together. I wish we have that, I really do. But I don't want to get in between my best friend and my best girl. I told myself it would be best to move on. No matter how difficult it would be and no matter how much it would hurt." He runs a hand through his hair tiredly, before continuing, "And when Clint 'kidnapped' you with a van and took you to us, when we were about to start a war, the pain just got worse. It was just... You've sacrificed so much to help me, (Y/N). Now, and back in the days during the war. And then when you agreed to fight with us, and you hugged me, I could smell my shampoo on you. And I know that sounds pretty weird, but honestly, I'd want to make you smell like that all of the time."

You smile, squeezing his hand slightly, signing for him to continue.

"And then you saw Bucky and just your reaction... You'd never have that with me. I realize that. Sharon reminded me of Peggy when she helped me out during the war, so I kissed her. Because I had to move on, from all of it. But the kiss... It wasn't right. It didn't feel right. I didn't feel good, like when I kiss you. I tried to move on. I really did, (Y/N). It's just... I can't."

His words slowly sink in. A million thoughts race through your mind, about what things to say and what not to say.

_Then don't._

But before you can pick a thought, your mouth opens and words slip out, almost like you did it automatically. "Then don't," you mutter. "What?" Steve asks quietly, his eyes meeting yours. His blue orbs shimmer a little, possibly from tears welling up. You hold out your hand, getting up. He takes it without even hesitating. You leave the coffee shop together after paying for your drinks.

"Where are we going?" Steve asks, as you drag him along. Instead of responding, you teleport the both of you to your hotel room.

"Well, you've been practicing," Steve breathes shakily. Of course, teleporting distances further than the eye can see can make people very nauseous. But you know the Super Soldier can take it.

You place your hands on his upper arms when he wavers a little. You lean in closer to him, your faces inches away from each other, though your eyes never turning away. Your chests touch one another every time you breathe in. Breaths mingling, both of your mouths open slightly, in the position which would make them lock perfectly together if you'd close the distance.

"Then don't," you repeat, your voice barely above a whisper, "Don't move on. Stay with me." He blinks once, before finally closing the space between you. This kiss isn't needy or heated. It's gentle and careful, like he wants this moment to last forever. When you slide your tongue over his bottom lip, asking him for entrance, he pulls back. His eyes are still closed because of the moment. "I... I haven't done this before," he murmurs. "Then let me teach you," you whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	19. Mean It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING | Explicit sexual content

You take Steve's hand in yours, and guide it to your chest. His breath hitches as his fingers touch your breast, covered by the slick fabric of your suit. "I-I don't think I can..." He trails off when you use his hands to slowly open up your zipper, which starts at your chest and ends up a bit below your waistline.

Steve seems very nervous, as well as very turned on. Two things that could either match well, or bump against one another in the wrong way. Only this time, luck seems to be on your side.

He moves the fabric from your shoulders, his fingers sliding over your shoulders, sending shivers down your spine, until your chest is completely bare. He cups your breast with one hand, resting the other on your hip, as he lowers his head and sucks on your nipple. You let out a breathy moan. "Oh, _Captain_ , you sure know how to treat a lady..."

He suddenly pulls back, his eyes widened. "I-I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me-" He sucks in a breath when you press your palm against the bulge of his pants. You start to rub against it, making him groan and grip the cabinet next to him. "Don't be scared," you hush, "It's only your instincts taking over. Do anything that feels right. Don't think too much about it." He nods, taking a few deep breaths to regain his courage, as you keep rubbing.

You lift his shirt over his head, relishing the sight of his glorious body. You place a kiss on his chest, and you can feel his heart hammering against your lips. Unbuckling his belt, you slide his pants down with it, leaving him only in his boxers.

His hands finally make the first move, pulling down the rest of your suit, along with your panties. He stares at your naked form for a little while, seemingly in awe. "Enjoying the view?" you ask, smirking. He quickly turns his eyes away to the floor, as if he thought you were scolding him. Cupping his cheeks with your hands, you move his head up, forcing him to meet your gaze. "Why are you so nervous?" you ask quietly. Steve sighs, "I don't know. It's not that I don't trust you or anything. It's just that... I'm usually the type of guy who has thing in order and can lead a team, but... when I'm with you, I can't think properly."

You smile at that. "And," he says, "I want you to be the first. Wouldn't want anyone else." He presses his lips back against yours eagerly. You gasp into his mouth as his hands grab your ass and pulls you up in the air and against his chest. "Getting your courage back now, are we?" you hum. No way you're gonna let him take over though.

You teleport the both of you on the bed, with you on top of him. His eyes widen slightly in surprise as you run your hands down his muscular chest, all the way down to his underwear, sliding it down slowly, just to tease him.

His breathing is unsteady, his torso rising up and down fast. He's keeping his eyes fixated on yours, filled with lust, but also with a fear you suddenly acknowledge. Setting your hand in the middle of his chest, you soothe, "We don't have to do this. If it doesn't feel right, if you feel like you're not ready yet, now's the time to tell me." He closes his eyes, taking a few deep, steady breaths, before sitting upright, with you straddling him. He pulls you closer, your noses touching, your breaths mingling. "I want you," he murmurs, before kissing you lazily.

You're taken by surprise as he slowly lowers you, sliding into you. You both gasp at the sensation, into each others mouths. When finally fully seated, Steve waits, which makes you smirk. Even in bed he's still the gentleman, keeping himself together instead of taking this opportunity by force.

You're both panting, eyes locked, both filled with lust and yearning. " _Move_ ," you growl, wriggling your hips a little to try to get at least some friction, but his grasp on them is just too tight.

His eyes stay fixated on you though, not paying attention to anything else but you. His look is so caring, so _loving_. Like you're the most beautiful thing to him - the most _important_ thing - in the world.

And when those words stumble out of his mouth quietly, your breath hitches.

"I love you."

He said it. He actually said it. And he means it, you can tell. "I love you too," you whisper. But do you? Do you mean it? Right now, you really don't care. Because the look on his face, the look on his face when you told him, makes everything better.

And then he finally moves. He lifts you up and down carefully, on a slow, yet very pleasurable pace. His blue orbs don't leave yours for a second as he slips in and out of you. Your hands find their way to his back and hair, pulling it slightly and scratching his skin, making him moan. His fingers dig into your thighs, as his thrusts get deeper and harder. You throw your head back when he hits that special spot inside of you, giving him the opportunity to kiss your neck softly.

You both gasp, as you reach your limits together.

Steve kisses your open mouth lazily, before carefully laying you back down on the bed, pulling you close to him.

And then you finally fall asleep. The sleep you had been trying so hard to get. It's a victorious feeling, really. But you know you can't use both Super Soldiers just to relieve you from your problems. You'll worry about that later. Right now, you head into dreamworld, tucked safely in between Steve's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while! I think I'm making this story too dark, and I'm not really happy with it. I don't know why. With the previous book I was very pleased myself, and now, I'm not quite sure. The plot I think is good, but other than that? I'd love to hear your opinion! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	20. Discoveries And Regret

"Steve-" "We don't have to talk about this now," Steve interrupts, as he slips his shirt back on. "Alright," you sigh, "But do we have to go? I still have some stuff to take care of." "(Y/N), we want to talk to you. We're not forcing you into anything. We just want a normal conversation," he replies. You raise your brows. "Fine," he huffs in amusement, "I think we can both agree it's not going to be a normal conversation." You chuckle, before wrapping you arms around him. He stiffens at your touch.

"Or we could just stay here," you murmur, sliding the hem of his shirt back up, "...And do more fun things." Steve grabs hold of your hands, giving you a warning look. You roll your eyes at his actions, turning your back to him and walking towards the door. "You were much more fun when you were still in between my legs." Glancing over your shoulder with a smirk plastered on your face, you notice - as expected - Steve's cheeks have turned a bright shade of red. "Now shall we?" you question, holding out your hand.

**| A CAB RIDE LATER |**

The elevator doors ding open, and you let out a shaky sigh. You don't feel like facing him right now. Or anyone else, really. You're just not ready. But Steve wants you to, so you have no other choice. You've let the man down already way too many times. You owe him at least this one favor.

When you step into the conference room, you're met with familiar faces. Bucky, Clint, Vision, Natasha and Sam all get up from their seats, as Tony pushes himself off the wall he's been leaning on. Before you can even open your mouth to say something, you're wrapped in a pair of strong arms. You let out a breath you didn't even realize you'd been holding. You move your arms around Tony as well, leaning into his touch and closing your tired eyes.

It's been so long since you've had an actual hug like this. An actual meaningful hug, from someone who cares about you, or at least, who you think cares about you. And it means so much to you because it's coming from Tony. Someone who doesn't show his human side all that often, yet acts like he's family. That he'd still be prepared to hug you - to come close to you in general - means the world to you.

"I'm so glad you're back," he breathes, sounding so relieved, as he strokes your hair gently. You move out of his grasp carefully, not sure if you should tell him the same.

_He's not worth it. He tried to kill Bucky._

But he's a friend. He's a part of your life. You helped Tony grow up and at least move on from his parents' death, in some ways.

_The parents Bucky killed? Tony was selfish for attempting to kill Bucky and we both know it._

He might be selfish, but he's a good man. You have to admit that. He just did what he thought was right.

_Don't make me shut you out again. I will. Don't tempt me._

A shiver runs down your spine, and you're pretty sure almost everyone noticed. Damn. You feel a warm hand press against your lower back, gently signing you to move forward and take a seat. You do as Steve asked, taking a seat next to Bucky. The other Super Soldier sits on your other side, staying silent and trying to focus his eyes on anything but you. Bucky's the total opposite of Steve; he can't keep his eyes off of you. They look so full of hope, and you feel bad, because you know you're going to have to break that hope. He wants to fix you, which will never happen. You know you'll eventually turn into a monster, if you're not one yet now.

You decide not to pull back when he takes your hand in his. It's difficult to look into his piercing blue orbs and tell him not to. Or to tell him what you did.

Oh God, what you did.

You slept with Steve. You slept with his best friend. Who you had an affair with before. This is so wrong.

_It was worth it. You know why._

No... He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve going through the same shit like you are right now. He's probably one of the nicest people ever. One of the most innocent.

"So-" "I have something to say," you interrupt Tony's attempt at starting - what you assumed was going to be - a proper intervention. To your surprise, the billionaire seems to be caring, as he quickly takes a seat at the table opposite to you. He motions for you to continue, before folding his hands together, being all ears.

_Don't. You know what I'll make you do if you tell them._

You glance back at Bucky, who stares at you expectantly. No one deserves to be treated this way. Not Steve, not Bucky.

"I slept with Steve," you admit. Right after the words leave your mouth, Bucky's metal hand grasps hold of the table a little too harshly, causing the glass to break entirely. Everyone except you and the Super Soldiers jump up to try and prevent the glass from hitting them. But you don't pay attention to any of them.

You feel tears well up in your eyes upon seeing the pure look of disappointment on Bucky's face. He turns his eyes to the table, not even wanting to face you anymore. You get why. Of course you get why. He actually proposed to you once, which you happily said yes to. You've been together for about three years, got separated for over seventy, and then found each other again. Broken, but both still alive. Which at that time, was the only thing that really mattered. You had each other.

Now, things are way more complicated. With Steve, the quarrel with Tony and your so called 'illness'.

"Why- Why did you do it?" he eventually mutters, his voice wavering oh so slightly. "Because I had to. Because it made me," you reply. "What?" Tony, Steve and Bucky all ask in unison.

"When I visited the compound a few weeks ago, I tried to stop you by firing a black substance, to slow you down." "Yeah, which was not a good idea, since we now have a sample of it," Tony snaps. "When I hit Steve..." you turn back to the other Super Soldier, who furrows his brows in confusion. "But you didn't hit me," he says, "I would've noticed." "Sweetheart, did you think I noticed when it clung onto me?" you ask. Steve blinks, clenching his jaw, still in disbelief.

"It hit you and the Symbiote wanted me to... get yours to work," you tell him. "I'm not following," the billionaire sighs. "You're saying... this _thing_... is stuck to me too?" Steve mutters quietly, balling his hand into a fist. You don't reply to his question, being pretty sure that that's already enough of an answer to him. He gets up from his seat and storms out of the room before you can say anything else.

"You slept with him because the Symbiote made you?" Bucky speaks up, making you turn back to face him. "I never meant to-" "Was that the reason or did you do it because of other reasons too?" he snaps, interrupting you. You swallow hard, not really knowing how to respond to that.

Do you love Steve? Or was it just a silly crush? Was it nothing more than a connection you have?

"It was bound to happen eventually," you decide to tell him, "Steve's Symbiote pushed him to do it, as did mine. There probably wasn't any way to stop it." "But did you _like_ it?" he snarls.

_You're going to regret doing this._

Your breath hitches, realizing it's time to leave. You teleport out of the room quickly, and go on until you reach your hotel room.

**| ABOUT AN HOUR LATER |**

You double-check everything to make sure you didn't forget any important belongings. But it's not like you really have anything important. Just a few pictures. That's it.

Your head snaps up when a loud bang erupts from outside of your door. "What the..." You hesitantly turn the knob, before throwing the door open completely. Your eyes widen slightly upon seeing a familiar masked face.

_The Winter Soldier._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	21. The Solution

He pushes you back onto your bed, pinning your hands above your head as he purposely presses his pelvis in between your legs, both to keep your from moving and just to turn you on. "Why?" he hisses, lowering his face dangerously close to yours. "You know why." Merely seeing his face expression, tells you that your answer will not suffice.

He flips you onto your stomach, grasping your hips painfully and grinding against you. "Am I not good enough for you?" he snaps angrily, as he continues to push you further into the bed. You can't help but let out a moan because of the friction he causes. "It's not that," you mutter, gripping the sheets tightly.

His grip suddenly loosens, and instead of harassing you any further, he just lays himself on his stomach on top of you. This is different though. Of course you don't mind the weight, you can take it. This is more like him cuddling you, but still being too afraid of you getting away. You think you get it now. Why he does all of this. He just wants to feel _something_. He lays his head next to yours and buries his face in your hair, nudging you almost lovingly.

"He doesn't deserve you," he murmurs. You blink away the tears starting to form in your eyes. "I don't deserve him," you whisper, though not loud enough for the Soldier to hear. "I don't deserve you... Either of you..." You slip out from underneath him, sitting back down at the edge of the bed.

He moves towards you, seating himself so you're in between his legs. Sliding his hands around your waist, he mutters, "You're leaving, aren't you?"

You nod, feeling a few tears roll down your cheeks when you tried so hard not to let them. "I won't let you," he continues, close to your ear. "You can't stop me. And you can't come with me," you tell him, "You have to let go of me. You'll just get hurt if you keep trying. If you keep trying to fix me." He lets out an airy laugh at that, making you turn your head slightly to look at him and raise your brows. He turns you onto his lap, with you now straddling him. He moves a few strands of hair out of your face, as well as wiping the tears off of your cheeks gently. "Doll, what is there to be fixed? You're already perfect to me," he says.

You snort, "You think me turning into a murderous, careless monster is perfect?" "Well, then at least I won't be the only one," he replies. You're lost at words for a moment after that.

You eventually shake your head, telling him, "This is different." "This is not different. And who else is going to tell me what to do when you're gone?" You can't help but let out a small laugh at that. You run your hand through his hair, and he leans into your touch. Somehow, even when in Winter Soldier mode, he still knows how to cheer you up. "I'm sorry, Soldier," you whisper, "I'm sorry for everything." You press a kiss against his forehead, before getting up and grabbing your bags. Taking one last longing glance behind you, you realize he's already gone.

**Steve's P.O.V.**

"I have to check!" Tony argues. "What's the point?" I pant, before landing another kick against the punching bag. "Well, there might still be hope for you. You never know what could happen. If you'd just let me check-" "No," I growl.

Tony sighs deeply. "Look, I know you've just had your heart broken-" "What makes you think that?" "Rogers, I can literally see the tears you're holding back. Now stop acting like a complete careless moron and listen to me!" I stop my movements against the bag, and turn to the billionaire, even though I don't want to hear any of it right now.

"If you do nothing about this, then there is no hope. No hope for you. No hope for (Y/N). We care about you, Steve, whether you like it or not, as we care about her too. If you do nothing, you know what will happen. And it will hurt. Not just you and her. But us too. Would you do that to us? Would you hurt us like that?" I let out a deep breath after he finished his speech. "You know nothing will work, Tony. Not any of it. We already got a sample and-" "But perhaps it's different when examining it attached to someone-" "Would you stop it?" I finally snap. His jaw clenches.

"So, that's it? You're just giving up?" He questions. I turn back to the punching bag, which I only now notice, is torn into pieces. "Fine," I hear him snarl, getting up from his seat, "Then I guess you don't want this back either." From the corner of my eye, I see a familiar shimmer on a metal object in Tony's arms.

"I don't know what to do with it," the billionaire admits, "I was planning on giving it back to you, but now..." He lets out a dark chuckle, shaking his head. "I'm not even sure if you deserve this anymore." He drops my shield, and it lands on the floor with a clang.

That's when a sharp pain runs through my head, causing me to yelp out.

I snap my eyes back up to meet Tony's, and I can tell we just thought of the same solution.

_Noise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments! Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	22. Too Close

"Are you ready?" Tony asks, bringing his armor-clad hand to eye-level, his palm facing me. I nod, hearing the gauntlet reload. The light starts shining, and before I know it, I stumble back a bit, hearing a painfully ringing noise in my ears. I groan as I feel something pull off of me.

It kinda feels like a thick layer of glue in a state between hardened and liquid. Only this has a burning sensation to it, like a second skin gets pulled off of me. "Barnes, now!" I hear Tony yell. I only then realize I'm screaming, as Bucky rips the Symbiote off of me, throwing it into the cage with the other sample.

I drop to my knees, panting, and feeling tired like I haven't felt in ages. It feels like I had to run a few laps like in the army, when I still had my asthma. "Are you alright, pal?" Bucky asks, resting his hand on my shoulder. I take a moment to catch my breath, before replying, "I am now. It felt like the Super Soldier serum just got drained from me." When my mind finally acts normal again, I look up and meet Bucky's gaze. "You should be mad at me," I sigh. "What would be the point in that?" he questions, "You did it because you love her and you wanted to feel that in a different way. And with the Symbiote pushing you, it was inevitable. And... I know it broke your heart. I know how it feels. With her... It's the worst feeling." "Like a knife cutting right through your heart," I mutter. "Yeah. Just... We'll talk about it all when we fix her, okay?" I nod in response.

"Uh, you might want to come check this out," Tony says, flicking through his holographic tabloids. "What is it?" I ask as I walk towards him. "I think she's going to leave again," he tells us. "What?!" both me and Bucky ask in unison. "Okay, so, I may or may not have planted a tracker on her..." the billionaire admits, glancing at me hesitantly. "A tracker?! Do you know how risky that is?" Bucky snaps. "Don't talk to me about taking risks, Barnes," Tony growls, taking a daring step closer to Bucky. 

"Stop it. Both of you," I intervene, placing a hand on both of their chests. They turn their eyes away in anger and frustration, as I continue, "Are you seriously going to continue bickering?" "Yes, and you know why," Tony snarls, his eyes locking with mine. I sigh, knowing he's still not over what happened. "Listen... I know it's been difficult to cope with each other these past few weeks. But right now, fighting will only slow us down. We all have the same end goal. We want to help (Y/N), right? Well, if we want to reach that goal, we're gonna have to work together. Now you two talk about this, while I go get us lunch." I storm out the room before either of them can say any more.

**Bucky's P.O.V.**

It's quiet for a while, with both me and Stark not wanting to face each other. Awkward would probably be the wrong word to describe this situation, but it's the closest I could imagine it to be.

"Look..." I decide to start, slowly, picking out my words carefully, "I knew your dad. If my mental health wouldn't have been messed with, I would've refused to kill-" "You didn't know him," Tony huffs, fiddling with his fingers, "It's not like you two ever hung out or anything. He never talked about you." "I know. But..." I sigh, "The night before I was sent off, I went out with Steve and a few girls. I saw your dad at that place. On the stage." His eyes finally look up and meet mine.

"He was... showing off a car that could fly. Didn't really work, but it sure was something," I chuckle, before turning serious again. "Your dad was a good man. He put a lot of effort into his work. I admired that, even if I was too stubborn to admit it. Which was probably because he was such good pals with Steve."

Stark sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair tiredly. "I'm not saying I forgive you," he tells me, "But I get that you didn't realize what you were doing. Let's just... lay down the fight for now, because as Rogers said, we're not really helping (Y/N) with it." I nod in agreement.

Something pops up in my head.

"So... how well do you know (Y/N) exactly?" I question slowly, "Since you seem pretty... close and all..." I turn my eyes to the floor, just to avoid his. "That's none of your business," he eventually replies coldly. That makes me face him again. At first I was actually quite ashamed of asking such a thing. But when he reacts like this, all of those previous insecurities vanish and get replaced by anger and frustration.

"If it includes (Y/N), it is my business," I snarl. He chuckles mockingly, his eyes growing darker. "Do you seriously think you know all that much about her?" he questions. I clench my jaw, trying to hold back the pure annoyance I feel towards this man. "For how long have you known her now? Seventy, maybe eighty years? And yet you still don't know shit about her," he snaps, "You don't know what she had to go through when she lost you. You don't know the pain she's been in. Hell, you didn't even know her fucking name. And yet you still blame Steve for falling for her, while he evidently can take better care of her than you ever could-" I cut him off by grabbing his throat and pushing him up against the wall, loosening my grip slightly to make sure he doesn't black out while I speak to him.

"Listen to me, you selfish little shit," I hiss, "I get that you're protective over her. But so am I. And I would do _anything_ to keep her from harm. Even if that means having to let her go. I love her. She's everything to me. Just knowing she's okay, gets me to let out a sigh in relief. Now, tell me where she went, or I'll make sure you stay on this floor longer than I originally intended. And you really don't want that to happen considering you want to help (Y/N) too." His eyes are widened slightly, his hands clasping around my iron grasp in an attempt to get free, though miserably failing. I can tell he's doubting. But he has no choice.

**Steve's P.O.V.**

"Bucky?" I call out in confusion, finding Bucky pinning Tony to the wall. Tony's eyes flicker to mine for a moment, and I'm not sure why, before he mutters something inaudible. That's when Bucky finally lets go of him. Spinning around, he storms past me, not even sharing a glance.

I make the quick decision to follow him, but before I could, I hear Tony's voice. "Rogers, we need a plan of attack." I take one last look at him over my shoulder. "I have a plan," I tell him, "Attack."

"Wait! Where are you going?!" I yell after my friend, who is currently starting up the aircraft right outside the building. In return, Bucky gave me a glare that would make The Winter Soldier cringe back into a corner. "I'm going to get her," he growls, "Now you can either try to stop me or try to help me. The choice is yours." I swallow hard, not wasting any more time and getting in the aircraft as well, taking a seat next to Bucky. We gave each other a knowing look, before turning back to the view in front of us. In a matter of seconds, we were already on our way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. I've been real stressed out lately. I've been thinking a lot about the future, and I want to start an acting career. It's just that I have serious anxiety issues. I'm going to see a therapist, which is quite a relief. Anyway, I won't be uploading anything for the rest of this weekend, because I'm going to this three-day festival. And I will be exhausted on Monday probably, since I have to get up early for school again. And talk to my therapist on the same day. Great. Hope you enjoyed and, as always, please do leave a like and/or comments! I love reading you replies. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	23. Going Undercover

We arrive at the base in a few hours. Natasha had sent us SHIELD's special disguise tech, which she used when she was dealing with Pierce a while back. Sam was so kind to give us special security outfits, so we should be good by now. I do realize how much I owe my friends, as they are up for (almost) anything.

Honestly, I'm not sure if our disguises are working. Passing by people as we stride through the long hallways, I notice a lot of women glancing us up and down, as well as a few men. "Why are they staring at us like that?" I mutter, turning my head slightly to catch Bucky smirking. He chuckles quietly, shaking his head. "What do you think? We might have been able to change our faces but the muscles stay. Though you're still the naive kid from Brooklyn, bud." I furrow my brows. "And... that's a good thing?" I ask hesitantly. "Well, (Y/N) fell for it. So, yeah, I guess it's a good thing," he replies.

I press my lips together, deciding not to comment on his sudden comment about (Y/N). Even after all that we've been through, Bucky can still be a mystery to me. I'm not sure if he's actually okay with it now, or if he's still upset about it, but I don't want to take the risk asking. At least I know we share the same end goal; helping our best girl.

_Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep._

For a second there, I thought the noise came from something else. Turns out it's just the security alarm going off.

Wait, what?

Bucky grabs hold of my arm, pulling me through the sudden herd of people trying to escape or trying to get everyone to safety. We take a beeline towards the elevator, since in a situation like this, no one would probably use it anyway.

It's quiet for a moment. A silenced tension just hanging in the air, making the temptation bigger to say something you don't mean, because you know how the other is thinking about you. I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding when Bucky finally speaks up.

"They used to play music in these," he comments, the corners of his mouth quirking up slightly in fondness, "Not the best music, but at least it lightened up the mood a bit in situations like these." I nod in agreement with a smile. I bite the inside of my cheek in my line of thoughts. We'll have to talk about this some day.

"Buck..." I start hesitantly, "I really am sorry about-" "Don't," he interrupts, his eyes turning to me, "We'll talk about this when we get her. She's involved in this too and she's the one to make the decision." "The decision?" I repeat in confusion. Bucky raises his brows. "Of who she'll chose," he explains matter-of-factually.

That's one of those things you really don't want to hear. Of course I trust (Y/N), with all my heart, and I'm sure she'll make the right decision. It's just that I'm scared - as Bucky probably is as well - she'll pick the other. But it's for the best. It's not like we can keep all of the drama and games forever. It has to stop, and one of us will have to let go. Which I have a very strong feeling will be me.

I get it. It doesn't really need an explanation. What they have.

Bucky's been with her for everything. During and after the war, and even moments before that. He's always looked after her. At least, the times he was able to. He's her first and it should last that way. They should be together.

Yet I can't get rid of the nagging feeling that the choice she'll make will hurt me more than I'll expect it to.

It doesn't matter. Not the current problem. Deal with it later.

"Just tell me one thing," Bucky says. I lock eyes with him, giving a small nod for him to continue. "Do you _really_ love her?"

I let out a small sigh, giving myself the chance to let the question sink in.

"Yes," I finally reply, "Yes, I really do love her." He straightens a bit, giving me a curt shake of his head. "Good," he comments, to my surprise, "Because if I find out you don't, or hurt her in any  other way, trust me, I will do something worse to you. Doesn't matter if she chooses me or you. It goes both ways." I chuckle, a little sadly, "Yeah, I can probably say the same. Though I think the choice she's gonna make is pretty obvious, so I'll be sure to leave you alone."

**Bucky's P.O.V.**

I furrow my brows in confusion. He thinks she'll choose me this easily?

I'm actually quite sure she'll pick him. Not to sound humble. I really do think it. Steve's probably the nicest guy I've ever known. He has his life in order - well, for most of it, at least - and can give her a future.

Unlike me. All I've done is get her hurt. Put her in danger. Put her in a situation no one should ever be in. I am very aware she can take care of herself, of course. But she can't take care of the both of us. She'll have to go through all of my confusion and nightmares and panic attacks, and I wouldn't want her to stick all of her energy in that. Steve has the right set of mind, and is someone who'd be willing to- who'd be able to settle.

I snap out of my thoughts when I hear the 'ding' and the elevator doors sliding open. What we're met with, would've made Nick Fury raise his eyebrows in surprise, if he were still alive.

All types of agents and law enforcement are crowded into the room, forming a circle around the cage containing Helmund Zemo. Only, his prison cell seems to be wrecked to pieces, and the criminal himself is at gunpoint. Not at the weapons of the agents, but of our dame herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while since I've updated. My life has been quite the emotional wreckage. But I'm doing a lot better. Went to a festival and saw Rammstein, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lionel Richie, Bastille, Kygo, James Morrison and a lot more. It was a lot of fun. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and, as always, please do leave a like and/or comments! PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


	24. I Surrender

Noticing us, her eyes flicker back and forth from me to Steve. I can see the expression of determination in her features, and I wonder why. I wonder why she's doing all of this. I wonder if she recognizes us.

She mutters something inaudible close to Zemo's ear, as she presses the gun a little harsher against his temple.

A voice makes both mine and Steve's head snap up. "Miss, would you please put the gun down?" Ross asks, sounding quite unimpressed as well as thoroughly annoyed. Not the best vibe you should give. "You're embarrassing yourself." And now he made the situation even worse. Moron.

"Oh, please, general Ross," (Y/N) chuckles, "If anyone is embarrassing themselves, it would be you. And I'd watch your tone. I'm the one holding the barrel of a gun against your prisoner." That finally sneers his mouth.

**Your P.O.V.**

"So, do we have a deal?" you mutter into Zemo's ear, pressing the gun a little harsher against his temple. Before he can respond, a voice speaks up.

"Miss, would you please put the gun down?" Ross asks, sounding quite unimpressed as well as thoroughly annoyed, "You're embarrassing yourself."That bastard thinks he's the better of us, doesn't he? Moron.

_Finally, we can agree on something._

"Oh, please, general Ross," you chuckle, "If anyone is embarrassing themselves, it would be you. And I'd watch your tone. I'm the one holding the barrel of a gun against your prisoner."

Oh, now he stays quiet.

"I asked you something," you growl into Zemo's ear, your eyes never leaving the two guards who just walked in. Did they really think you wouldn't recognize them with that silly disguise of them?

Zemo chuckles darkly, taking his time like he doesn't even care what will happen to him. "Oh, sweetheart," he starts, with a foul grin plastered on his face, "He'll never be the same again. Did you really think he'd have a chance? Even now, with your newfound power, you still can't save the _one_ person who you think truly needs saving." Your hand grasping his collar balls into a tight fist, as the maniac continues, "The mind is a powerful thing. But once it's been touched, it'll never go back to the way it used to be. See of it as a butterfly's wings. And your Soldier's wings just so happened to be very appealing."

You kick him in the chest, sending him back against one of the heavily armed guards. He chokes out a breath, as the agents handcuff him again. "We had a deal!" You ignore his protests, instead dropping your gun to the floor. "I'll make sure you suffer for this," Zemo spats, as he starts to get dragged away. You meet his eyes one last time. "And how do you plan on doing that? From your cell?" you question. His eyes narrow, before he disappears out of sight.

You turn to general Ross, sighing. It's over.

_Don't you dare._

Throwing your hands in the air, you tell him, "I surrender." And you're engulfed by a crowd of people.

**Bucky's P.O.V.**

We had to wait - which basically meant we had to walk in circles around the compound and act like real guards - for three hours before we were called to bring the 'prisoner' food.

My breath hitched slightly when I finally see her again.

They took her suit and weapons from her, obviously. The things that upsets me are the straitjacket and _collar_. They put an actual collar around her neck. An I have a thought on what it's for. 

"Is the collar really necessary?" Steve asks the guard passing us, glad his shift is over. He shrugs, "I don't really have a saying in that stuff. I only know it's so she can't teleport out." "What does it do?" "Shocks," the tired guard replies, before rounding a corner and disappearing out of sight. 

My hand balls into a fist in anger, but I hold it in. We can't risk exposing our cover.

"Don't worry," (Y/N)'s raspy voice snaps me out of my line of thoughts, making me turn back to her, "They got rid of the cameras and recorders as long as I agreed to wear this thing." She moves her neck a little, meaning she's talking about the collar. I crouch down next to her cell in the round room where Steve told me she had been locked up before with the rest of the Avengers who refused to sign the Accords.

"What are you doing, doll?" I whisper, placing my hand on the glass. She sighs, leaning her forehead against the barricade where my palm is set. "Saving you," she replies quietly. My eyebrows furrow. "What do you mean?" "I know how much you hate it when the Soldier shows up," she tells me honestly, "And now he doesn't have to anymore. I'm nothing more than a reminder to you that you'll never get rid of him again." "What? No, why would you think that? I-" And then it clicks in my mind.

"Zemo told you there was no cure to this." She nods in response. I shuffle a little closer. "I don't need to be fixed. If spending time with you means the Soldier is gonna have to come out from time to time, I know it's worth it. Cause I'll be with you. And that means the world to me." She snorts, "After all of the shit I've done to you, to both you and Steve, you still can't see the monster I've turned into? This is what I've become. And it's not like it's just gonna snap back to normal any time soon." "We know," I reply, "But you're not a monster. You just gotta let us show you that. I care about you and I love you. So let us help you." Steve crouches down next to me. "We care about you more than you know," he adds, "And I love you too. You gotta keep that in mind in the darkest of times."

She glances back and forth from me to Steve, deciding what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. Kinda had a writer's block. But I'll update more often now that school's over. Please do let me know what you think, as always, by leaving a like and/or comments. Your replies really make my day. PEACE OUT!
> 
> \- EK


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